


We've Forgotten Where We Belong

by taggiecb



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Harry cries a little, Liam is with Sophia, Louis cries a little, M/M, Mild Smut, Smut, Zayn is with perrie, canon kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-18 12:37:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3569939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taggiecb/pseuds/taggiecb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hello Lewis” He says in his soft, deep voice.  The small sentence is strained.  Harry looks almost nervous.  Louis is sure there was no way this visit is going to end well.  He can feel the tension coming from Harry</p><p>“Hello Harold, you look well”  You bet he looks well.  Saying he looks well would be nothing short of an insult.  His hair is still an enigma.  Just past his ears, and wavy as ever.  He is golden brown from wherever he just come from.  And oh my God is he fit. He still likes to wear his jeans like a second skin Louis can see, although it is softened by a cream colour jumper that is pooling high around his neck.  It doesn’t leave much to the imagination.</p><p>OR</p><p>2018, two years after 1D retired.  Two years since Harry, and Louis has laid eyes on one another</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Intro

They all knew the band wouldn't stay together forever, and that was ok with them. They had 6 good years, and a fan base to beat no other. But when One Direction’s contract ended with Modest!, so did One Direction.

No one could blame them really. The boys were all tired. They worked hard, and they had people, and projects on hold that they wanted to get to. Zayn wanted to marry his beautiful fiance Perrie, Liam wanted to spend a lot more time with Sophia, Niall missed Ireland, and his family, and Harry and Louis needed to heal. 

Harry and Louis needed to feel like their life was normal for a while. They needed to live one day of their lives where they were not pretending to be something they were not. They needed to find out who they were, because it had been so long since there has not been someone telling them who they needed to be.

Things ended with Louis and Eleanor. They barely even began. She wasn't happy about it. Eleanor had become quite fond of Louis, and all of the fun that come with being his girlfriend. She thought for a long time that maybe he would come around. He was a great friend, and he seemed that he liked spending time with her, but that is where it ended. Of course she felt bad about what their relationship did to Louis and Harry, but there was nothing she could about it, so she did the best with what she had. 

Harry didn't even know where he was heading when it was all said and done. He didn't really have a home anymore, or a purpose. Louis wasn't ready to be anywhere near him yet, he didn't stand a chance at a solo career. His heart just wasn't in it. London was too close to Louis, and LA was too far away from anything he wanted to be near. He was a homeless drifter. (a multi millionaire drifter, but even so)

So when 2 years down the road, Harry was finally tracked down by Zayn saying that he wanted all 5 to get together for the birth of his daughter, Harry was all for it.

 

So, this was going to be alright, right? Louis wasn't so sure. He has kept in close contact with the boys, well most of the boys. He was in a great place now. He didn't realize really how much living such a lie could be so damaging to him. He is so aware now why gay teen suicide is so high. Everything he did, he needed to be careful, every word he said, he had to think before he spoke. There was never a break for him to be himself. It took almost the whole last two years to feel like he was once again Louis Tomlinson. But now he was going to have to face the one person who could completely unravel him again.

Mr. Harry Styles. If there was one man that was made to make Louis’ blood pressure rise it would be him. There isn't a day that goes by that Louis doesn't think of Harry. There isn't a day that he doesn't miss the man who he fell in love with eight years before. Louis knows deep in his heart that the reason they do not speak anymore is because of Louis. Louis was the one who couldn't handle the heat of his fans speculating that he was gay. I mean, he was, but he wasn't supposed to be, and Harry just seemed to not care what was at stake sometimes. Not just for them, but for the whole band, and everyone else that had a job because they were good looking STRAIGHT guys. 

But Louis pushed Harry so far that one day , he just wasn't there anymore. A part of him was relieved. Louis believed that maybe Harry was starting to understand the situation. Maybe he was starting to play along. But that wasn't it. Harry was just not good at pretending, so he stayed as far away from Louis as he could. Louis thought maybe that would change when the band split up, but it didn't. 

And now Louis was going to have to face him. Words were going to have to be said. He was going to have to apologize. Dammit, he hated to do that. Maybe Harry wouldn't come. Maybe Zayn wouldn't be able to track him down. Although he was quite sure all the boys contacted him a lot, and just didn't let on to Louis about it. They were all loyal to one another. And if Harry didn't want Louis to know where he was, they wouldn't betray him. And of course he will come. He isn't going to miss something like this. Fuck. Well, at least he had a week to get ready.


	2. Chapter 2

Turns out a week isn't long enough. Louis feels that he is going to vomit walking up to the front door of Zayn and Perrie’ house. He isn't here as much as he would like to be, but it is a familiar place to him. It looks like a typical family home, beautiful garden, still in bloom, even though it is getting late in the year. They have Bright blue front door, because Zayn can’t live without colour in his life. He doesn't knock because he was already let in the gate. They know he is coming. He was tempted to ask who else is here when he was buzzed in, but he didn't. 

He tentatively opens the door. The first thing Louis hears is Niall’s laugh. He automatically smiles, and starts walking in that direction, which is, of course, the kitchen. When he walks around the corner, there they are. The four boys well, men, that changed his life forever. It’s like the last two years didn’t even happen. The feeling is a little overwhelming, and he is not able to move or speak for a second. They are all engrossed in something on a laptop that was sitting in the middle of the island counter top. Niall is still laughing, and the rest are smiling, and murmuring to one another. The first person to look up, seeming to notice the energy in the room has changed, is Harry.

“Hello Lewis” He says in his soft, deep voice. The small sentence is strained. Harry looks almost nervous. Louis is sure there was no way this visit is going to end well. He can feel the tension coming from Harry

“Hello Harold, you look well” You bet he looks well. Saying he looks well would be nothing short of an insult. His hair is still an enigma. Just past his ears, and wavy as ever. He is golden brown from wherever he just come from. And oh my God is he fit. He still likes to wear his jeans like a second skin Louis can see, although it is softened by a cream colour jumper that is pooling high around his neck. It doesn’t leave much to the imagination.

“So, we are all here now,” Zayn begins “I am so glad you all were able to come. This is our first baby, as you know, and I am terrified.” The boys all chuckle, and Niall wraps his arm around Zayn. They all love each other, and Louis knows that’s one thing that will never change. “Perrie says everything will be fine, but I needed backup.” He says, as though he is heading in for the fight of his life. “But most important, we said we wouldn't do this. It’s been over two years since we all stood in a room together. This is ending today”

Louis feels a little guilty.. He knows that they all planned to be closer when it was all said and done, but life happens. 

Zayn pulls him back from his thoughts. “So, the way I figure it is, all of you must owe me at least one favour, and I am cashing in today” Ok, what the hell is Zayn up to? He does owe Zayn a favour. Louis missed his bachelor party, and said that he owed Zayn one for not being too hard on Louis for it. He also knows that Harry owed him big time because Harry was not even at the wedding. Who knows with Liam and Niall. Liam probably for babysitting, and Niall for crashing on his couch. Not too serious. 

“Perrie isn't due for another month, and I want to spend a couple weeks with you guys. Just the five of us. I know none of you have anything else going on. And Liam, I already asked Sophia what she thought of it. She was happy to help. We are doing this.” Louis guesses no isn't an option, but how is he going to talk Harry into doing this. He barely wants to be in the country.

“Yes, of course, I would love to” Wait a minute, that was Harry’s voice. He looks at Harry, and Harry is looking right back at him. Not smiling, but almost looking for a reaction. He is so confused by this. Why would Harry care what Louis thinks of this? Harry is the one who doesn't want to be around the rest of them. Maybe Louis can change his mind.

 

“Sounds like a fantastic idea babe” He is talking to Zayn, but looking at Harry, and thinds he saw the tiniest bit of a smile. Even if it was just in his eyes. 

Of course Liam is on the phone hammering out the details with Sophia (or so he thinks, because she already has everything worked out), and Niall is always up for a get together. Niall loves these guys, and the more time he can spend with them the better.

“We can’t just move in with you Zayn. Perrie doesn't need that mess right before the baby comes” Did Liam just look at Louis when he said that? Insulting. 

“No, we will be staying at a house in the country that I rented, and Perrie’s girls are coming here, so they can get some quality time as well. It’s all worked out, we are leaving tomorrow. Go and pack, or shop if you didn't bring enough clothes.”

 

“So bossy Zayn” Louis says “I hope this little girl has a nice, and kind Godfather to make up for it” Of course he is hinting. Zayn and Niall are Godfather to Liam’s twins. He wants in on the action. He so enjoyed the time he had with Lux, but that was just because he was with Harry. Harry is her Godfather, so when he lost Harry, he lost Lux as well.

“Of course that will be discussed once we get there, there is lots of time” Zayn smiles. 

 

 

The next day, after packing quickly, telling his mom where he would be for a couple weeks, and shutting his own house down, he arrives to the country house. It is big enough for five families, never mind five guys that are used to living in one another’s pocket. Although Louis guesses they aren't as used to it any more. There are cars in the drive, and he recognizes them all. “So Harry isn't here yet.” Ugh, why does he care! This isn't the Harry and Louis show. This is about Zayn, that’s who he needs to focus on. Zayn is who needs them all right now. 

He goes inside to find that Zayn, Niall, and Liam have already made themselves at home. He has his choice of room, so he picks one towards the back, he is used to a quiet house to sleep. He’s been living alone for a while now. Although he doesn't know if he will get any sleep these next couple weeks or not. The room is great, it’s big, and light, and has a spacious bathroom suite. He could move in here and never leave if he wants. There is even a mini bar, and a kettle for tea. He unpacks, and wanders around admiring the view before he decides to go see what the boys are doing, and what they all would be doing for two whole weeks. 

When he opens the door, the door opposite him opens at the same time, and there stands Harry.

“Hi” Louis squeaks, and immediately clears his throat trying to hide his nerves

“Hello” Harry responds. Oh great. They don’t even know how to talk to one another anymore. 

“So… How is your room?” 

“Great” Harry blushes slightly.

“Are you heading down to see the guys?” 

“Yes, Zayn said now that we were all here, he wanted to talk to us” So they head down the stairs together. It wasn't so bad actually. A start at least. 

“Great!” starts Zayn “Now we are here, I can tell you why we are really here!” Huh? What the hell Zayn? “I have missed you guys so much, and we can’t go another two years not being together. Liam and I both got married, Liam had twins, and I am about to have a little girl, and this is still the first time we are spending quality time together. 

“Liam eloped” Louis protests “and we all have seen the twins. Just not...” The words die on his lips. Sounding feeble even to him.

Zayn gives him a stern look. “Pay attention Tomlinson, you are half of the reason we are here today” Oh no. “We are here, because whatever in the hell you and Harry have decided about each other is going to be fixed. I have respected both of you to not ask what the hell happened, and why it is still happening, but I’m ending it here. If you can’t undo this in two weeks, I will give up, and we will just have to be friends from a distance. I am not picking sides, but you have to at least try. For us.” When he says “for us” Louis looks up, and realizes it isn’t just Zayn looking at Harry and him, but Liam and Niall as well.

“You are all in on this?” He asks, not altogether friendly about it

“We are.” Niall says in a softer tone. He shouldn't be mad at these guys. He loves them, but this seems tricky, and he doesn't like being tricked. 

“I am sorry, I had no idea about this” Harry says to him, but he walks out. He can’t handle this. He doesn't want to deal with this yet. He doesn't want Harry to think that Louis was being conned into spending time with him.

As he comes out of his room to tell Zayn this, he hears a car door close. It’s Harry. Fuck, he is never going to forgive Louis now. He cannot get anything right. All he needs is some time to talk to Harry. He puts his footie skills to use and starts running as fast as he can, thankful in the back of his head that he kept his shoes on. Harry is about halfway down the long drive before he notices Louis running at him, waving his arms.

“Please don’t go H” is the first thing he says when his breath catches up with him. 

“I am not going to feel pitied because of something that happened four years ago. I am not a charity case. I do not want to be in a house with someone who is being forced to spend time with me.

“That is not what this is about Harry. I am not mad. I am not being forced to spend time with anyone. Just, come on back in the house so Zayn doesn't kill me.” He tries to laugh, make it a joke, but it doesn't quite follow through. Harry looks at him suspiciously. Still not moving. “Please Harry, just trust me.” That does seem to work because Harry nodded, and pulled back in the drive. They walk into the house together in silence as he tries to remember why this is at all a good idea. 

He spends some time looking for any of the other guys. It takes a while, he doesn't know where he’s going in this house. The first person he finds is Niall. He is in what looks like a game room. There is a massive pool table positioned in the center, and what looks like a bar stretched along the back wall. The walls are dark, with low hanging lights. It gives the feel of a pub. Niall’s lazily pitching balls into their pockets, halfway into a pint. 

“I am sorry Niall. I messed up didn't I?” Niall smiles at him, and hands him a stick, although he looks a little sad.  
“Nah man. You got him back here did ya? I guess he didn't really like being deceived either?” Louis takes this as about as close as he’s going to get to an apology from Niall. 

“I suppose he blames me. I just wish I could explain to him” Niall looks at him with this smirk that would annoy you if it wasn’t on Niall’s face. 

“I think you underestimate him. Let it be for tonight, you and I can have a few games.” he gestures to the pool table “Did you miss me or what?”

“Yea, I guess. You have good intentions my friend” Damn Louis quick temper. It’s always his friends who get the bad end of it. 

“Why don’t we have a bite to eat first, yea?” Niall hasn't changed much

“Of course, what are you making?” Neither has Louis


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of the night passed without too much drama. The boys reminisced, drank a little too much, played some video games, and even sang some songs. Niall is still in the music business. He has some great bands under his management, and it made Louis so happy to hear him talk about all of it. Liam is being a full time dad right now, mostly because they can afford it, and the twins are a handful. Louis knows this first hand of course. Zayn is an artist. He has never really cared if he was successful or not, even though he is, he was always in it for the joy of art. He even started to hold a few adult classes once their fame died down enough for him to be able to walk into a university. Louis followed his dream of owning the Rovers. It took years of red tape and a lot of bullshit, but it happened. It is something that he feels proud of, like something that no one can take from him. He finally started letting himself accept that he belongs in that world and isn’t just a privileged fan. Harry said very little about what he’s been doing the past two years. “I travelled” was about as much any of the boys got out of him. He was quiet, and Louis felt that it was his fault. 

“How about telling us a story H. Any jokes?” The boys all groan, but Harry actually smiles, so Louis considers it a small win.

“Where does the general put his armies?... In his sleevies!!” Louis is trying so hard not to roll his eyes. The other boys don’t have such courtesy.

“I blame you Tommo,” Liam speaks up. He looks done in. “Once he starts, he won’t stop. I am going to bed. I can’t wait to sleep in. It’s been so long.”

“Well, who will look after Niall then?” Louis shoots back. “You know he needs to be fed every four hours.”

Niall finds this incredibly funny and is almost off the couch from laughing so hard. The mood is light, and everything feels right. Eventually though everyone else drifts off to bed, and it's just Louis and Harry. They aren’t ready for this part of the trip. They are trying not to even look at each other.

“Well, I’m spent,” Louis saids as he gets up and stretches. "I am heading to bed Harold. Shut it down when you’re ready?” He is trying hard to be casual, but it isn’t coming through, so he just starts heading towards the stairs. 

“We should really talk about this Louis.” That stops Louis in his tracks. No no no is all that is going through his head. Louis is the king of sticking his head in the sand. He really wants to avoid admitting to Harry what an ass he was, and how sorry he is. He knows he has to do it, but he doesn’t want to. 

“In the morning yeah?” Harry looks disappointed but nods in agreement. Well, there goes Louis’ good night sleep. 

 

The next morning Louis trudges down the stairs. He was right, he barely slept at all. Hours later, he still doesn’t know how this talk is going to go down. He is dreading it almost as much as he dreaded the first conversation he had with Harry like this. At least back then, he was sure enough that Harry loved him and it wouldn’t feel like he was breaking the beautiful boy. Louis was always the one who was crushing Harry, always the one who was disappointing him. Pulling him back. Holding him back. It wasn’t fair to either of them. 

Harry is in the kitchen when he gets there. He doesn’t look much more rested than Louis. He is wearing joggers and wrinkled gray t shirt. All so much not Harry’s style. Even so early in the day. Actually, it’s more Louis’ style, as he was dressed almost the exact same way. Only Louis’ hair was pulled back in a hair band. Six years of boy band hair was hard to shake for him. He had a tendency to want to keep it a little long, able to style, and fluff. Just like Niall liked to keep his blonde. They weren’t quite ready to let go of it. Harry smiles at him when he walks in and offers him a tea. Louis accepts it because he knows that Harry knows how he likes it. And he is trying really hard to get on Harry’s good side.

“You want to talk about the boys dragging us here to get ourselves in order I suppose.” It’s as good an intro as can be expected. He is in unfamiliar waters here really. “I think it’s good we clear the air for Zayn's sake. He needs us right now.”

“Just for Zayn? That is the only reason you want to be here?” 

“Well, not just for Zayn. For all the boys. For all of us.” He takes his cup of tea from Harry’s outstretched hand, and cradles it in front of him like a security blanket. “Fuck Haz, I just wish you would tell me what to say here. I just want things to be ok.” 

“This is a good start right here,” Harry smiles sweetly at him. “Maybe,” he says tentatively “we should have a proper talk? I have some things I want to say.”

“That would be great Harry, there are so many things…” 

“I know, me too. But first, breakfast.”

They eat in silence, but it’s a little different this time. Not as uncomfortable. Harry’s breakfasts are as good as ever. Louis can tell that Harry is also spending that time trying to prepare for what is going to be a hard and uncomfortable conversation. Louis leaves him to it. Although Harry has no explaining to do, Louis is the one who needs to apologize. Louis was wrong, and it is going to take more than an hour or so of talking to make up for that. He isn’t so sure that even if they do clear the air, that Harry would even want to be friends anymore. 

“I’m done, how was it?” Harry almost whispers the last part of the sentence. Almost as though rest of his life hangs on the fact that Louis had a good meal. 

“Perfect Harry, as always,” Louis nervously whispers. 

“Good… okay, lets get to it. Uh, I think we should go to one of our rooms…” 

“Good idea, mate. Leave the others out of it. They don’t need to see me cry," laughs Louis. It was meant as a joke, but Harry looks concerned. Maybe he was going to cry. Oh God, he doesn’t want to do this. As they walk up the stairs, Louis suggests Harry’s room because even though it was only a day, Louis’ room is a tip. Harry agrees. Harry’s room is much the same as Louis’. Only facing another part of the garden outside. Louis can see a large pond from the window. It haa a little rowboat that it seems Niall is at the moment trying to navigate. He smiles. It has been so long since he could just talk to any of them without having to use a phone or computer. He could just walk outside if he wanted to talk to Niall right now. But no, he needs to explain to Harry, he needs to make it right again.

“So,” they both say in unison. Nervously laughing. 

Louis puts his hand on Harry’s chest. Harry jumps a little, but doesn’t move away from him. “I am going to start, ok?” Louis says fondly. Just touching Harry brings back a lot of feelings that are muddling his brain, but he needs to take control of this situation. Harry just nods, although he doesn’t look as trusting as he once did.

“I am really bad at this. I feel like too much time has passed for this to matter anymore.” Harry’s face falls a little. Louis knows he has to start talking fast to fix this before it’s too late. “But it does matter because you were my best friend once, and I would really like you to be my friend again.” Louis starts to pace in the spacious room. His feet just can't stand in one place. He takes in the properly made bed, the brimmed hat on the armchair, the curtains all pulled open to let in as much light as possible. Even the scented candles on the night stand. This is a temporary space just like so many they had been in before, but it is just so much Harry. The same Harry. Louis turns and looks at him now. He is still standing in the same place, in the middle of the room, watching Louis intently. Louis walks up to him, and looks him in the beautiful green, familiar eyes. Suddenly he feels grounded again, and he knows that what he says will make it ok again. “I pushed you away Harry. I loved you, and I tried to shove you in a dark closet. You didn’t deserve that, and I understand why you didn’t want me anymore. I am so sorry H. I didn’t know who I was then. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was so scared…”

Suddenly Harry is touching him, hugging him. “It was hard then. I was scared too, but I love you Louis, I love all of you, and I need you back in my life. As long as you still want me.” 

“Of course Harry, I never wanted you to be out of it. I really didn’t. I just didn’t know how to tell you. I am just so sorry for the last eight years. I hurt you Harry, and that’s not ok.” Louis is trying hard not to cry. He let the past slip into the front of his mind, and suddenly all the years of insecurity, fear, and pretending flood back. He realises though that Harry is still staring expectantly at him, somehow knowing that he still needs to speak. Harry still knows him better than Louis knows himself. “Maybe we can try again. Will you be my friend again?” They both laugh at this, like they always did when someone asked the band if they stayed friends. It was such a weak word to describe the relationship they all had with one another. But there wasn’t any word to describe them, so friends was a good place to start. 

“I have spent the last two years travelling the world and I have not seen a more beautiful site than standing here looking at my best friend. That is where I stand. I would love to be your friend Lou,” Harry hugs him again ready to leave the past behind. 

“I do not know how you are so confident. For all you know, I could be a grumpy old man now.” Harry laughs at Louis joke just like he used to.

“Well, I would like to at least try to put up with you for the next couple weeks. It will be like old times. Living under one roof again. We will have fun!” Louis really hopes it’s true.

“So what did you want to say Harry? What did you want to tell me?" Harry seems confused by Louis’ question and starts shaking his head. 

“It doesn’t matter. I just want this. I want us to be friends. I am ready for that, and I want this to be a great couple weeks. No more awkward ok?” Louis nods at this, relieved. 

They decide to go and tell the other boys that they had a good talk and everything will be ok. They are all outside enjoying the day. It is nearly October, but the sun is still warm, and they know it will not last much longer. They rest of the boys are happy for them, but Louis knows it will take more than an hour or two of talking to make up for the time they lost. 

The five of them spend the rest of the day doing nothing special. They eat, play FIFA, talk, and laugh. They reminisce about old times being on tour, and the inside jokes that only the five of them really understand. There is no worry anymore, no stress. The edge of being who they were for those years are gone. It’s great, but as dinner time approached Liam pipes up. 

“We made plans to go out for dinner…” he says as he puts his phone down on the table. Looking at pics of the twins that Sophia had texted him no doubt. 

“Sounds good, when do we leave,” Louis asks.

“Well, we only made reservations for three…” Zayn looks shifty. “We didn’t know how long you would be, so we just thought we would get out of your hair.” Likely story, Louis can tell when he is lying and says as much. At least Zayn has the courtesy to look guilty. 

“Have fun you two!” Niall chuckles freely feeling no guilt at all. Niall was always so supportive of Harry and Louis. He couldn’t even hide his happiness that they would be spending an evening together alone.

“Well, cheers mates,” Louis says sarcastically, “You really know how to make a man feel loved.” 

“I can take care of you” Harry puts his arm around Louis. Louis looks up, and Harry is looking him in the eyes, almost as though to reassure Louis that it’s ok. “I can cook dinner here. It will be fun,” Harry smiles, so Louis smiles, and thinks it will actually be really, really great.

“What should we eat tonight babe?” Harry asks. His voice easy, calm. Honestly it doesn’t matter to Louis. He would love anything Harry makes, and at the same time, has no appetite at all. But he can’t tell Harry that, so he answers. 

“Surprise me please!"

“Then I will see what we have.” 

Louis feels an urge to go dress for dinner, but this isn’t a date. It’s two friends eating because their other friends abandoned them. Jerks. They should know that this is hard for him. It would make life a lot easier if they were all together. He knows that Harry forgave him, but that doesn’t make it go back to the way it was. They are still really conscious of one another, and it was great when the other guys were there to take the edge off. Now everyone was leaving him.

 

Harry comes back from the kitchen about 20 minutes later. Louis is still watching tv, still inside his own mind. Harry tells Louis that he has already started dinner, and the other boys had left. “Why don’t you come keep me company? I have wine,” Harry sings as he swings the bottle of wine that he produced from behind his back. He backs towards the kitchen, and like a rabbit behind a carrot, Louis follows.

The kitchen smells wonderful. Why does the smell of frying onions and peppers always smell so good? Maybe he is a little hungry. Louis sits down on a stool that he knows will be out of the way and watches Harry work. Harry never just walks somewhere. He never just moves. He always seems to be dancing. He glides from the fridge to the stove, he skips to the bin when putting things away. He even twirls once, just because he loves it. Never once taking the smile off his face. 

“So, what’s new Harold? I haven’t heard you tell of you. The boys seemed to be pretty quiet on your doings as well.” He hoped it didn’t sound like an accusation. He really honestly doesn't know anything that Harry has done. 

“I am sorry Lou. I asked them not to talk to you about me. I didn’t want to cause trouble with you or anyone…” Anyone, who was anyone? Was he asking me if I was with anyone? 

“There is no or anyone just me.” Harry nods, hiding his face. 

“I’m sorry..” 

“Do you know what Haz?" Louis interrupts “I would like to finish this dinner without anyone apologizing for anything. Even if you dump my dinner in my lap, please, do not say you are sorry tonight.” 

“Ok, I will try. I have just been saying it to you for so long in my head, it’s hard to stop now that you are in front of me.” He turns his back to Louis again, and finishes what he was doing. Louis begins getting plates and utensils, and they sat down, opposite one another in the kitchen, no formalities needed for them. “I have not really been doing anything. I know it sounds funny because I have travelled a lot, but I would think of a place I haven’t been, get on a plane, look at all the tourist stuff, and then move on. I think I was hoping that I would find a place I love and want to stay, but I didn’t." 

“I thought you loved LA. I thought that is where you wanted to be.”

“After we all broke up, it was just an empty place for me. Every place has been. Actually, I haven’t felt home for some time. Being here with you guys is reminding me of how it was though.”

“Tell me then of all the beautiful views that you got to appreciate.” So Harry did, and they ate, and drank, and drank some more. Before they knew it, there was a bottle of wine down, and they were into the shots. Being drunk didn’t stop Harry from cleaning up though, and he was trying to talk Louis into filling the dishwasher for him. 

“Harry, just sit down, come on, we are supposed to be having fun.” Louis knew he was slurring his words. Hair falling into his face. He must have looked a right mess at that point.

“I can’t enjoy myself if the boys come home to this mess. Come on Lou, you fill the dishwasher, and I will return the favor,” Harry smiles at him, cheeky. His eyes shining, and his mess of hair wild as ever.

“Oh, and what would that be? Foot rub, hand job…” Oh God, that just came out of his mouth didn’t it? He looks at Harry to see how much damage he has done, but Harry is just laughing. 

“I would love to if you will just come help me.” Ok then. He does get up to help Harry, but only because he’s a really good friend, right? Not for sexual favours from his ex-boyfriend. 

They get the kitchen cleaned up and make their way unsteadily to the living room. Somehow Louis still has a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. They sit down with a thud on the couch, kind of falling into one another. They are incredibly drunk now, and just keep laughing at nothing. Louis looks at Harry, “so what do you want to do now? I think I am too drunk to play FIFA. A movie maybe?” Harry just smiles, and shakes his head no. “No? Do you want to just chat then?” Another smile and another shake of the head. Harry is too drunk. He can’t even formulate a sentence now. “I think it may be time for bed then.” Louis sighs as he moves to stroke the hair back from Harry’s forehead. Harry smiles and stands up unsteadily. As they move to Harry’s room, he half jumps, half collapses in the bed while Louis tries to him wrestle out of his skin tight jeans. Once Harry is nice and comfy, Louis makes to leave. 

“NO!!!” Harry cried like someone just kicked a puppy. “Don’t leave me!”

“I am tired too Harry, I want to go to bed.” 

“Stay here, sleep here. I missed you Louis. Had so much fun, don’t leave me,” Harry is mumbling half into his pillow eyes already closing. 

“Okay, yeah, okay. Let me just…” he starts taking his jeans off, and Harry’s eyes widen. “I am not sleeping fully dressed. Sorry if you don’t like it, let me go to my own.”

“No, no, okay, yeah, sleep, right.” Harry is so, so drunk. Louis knows this isn’t a good idea, but he climbs in the bed anyway. Harry instantly latches onto him.

“It’s been so long,” Harry mumbles into Louis’ hair as he falls asleep.

This is how the other three boys found them the next morning. Louis swore he was never drinking again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt kind of strange continuing this with everything that has happened in the last month, but the story was written, so I would like to finish it.

“No Zayn, we are not getting back together.” Zayn is smiling at him like an idiot, and Louis is too hungover to deal with him right now. “We got drunk and passed out. We didn't even kiss. We are just friends now.” Zayn doesn't look like he believes Louis, and confirms it.

 

“I don’t believe you bro. I knew I was right. I love it when I’m right.” He smiles as he takes a long drag off his smoke, and looks at it regretfully. “Perrie wants me to gives these up. I am going to miss them.” Louis hasn't smoked in years, but he can relate.

 

“Yea, you will. It isn't something you get over quickly.”

 

“Just like Harry, am I right?” Zayns elbows him as he wiggles his eyebrows

 

“Jesus Zayn, you used to be cool. I need new friends.” He gets up and wanders back into the house, leaving Zayn chuckling to himself. Liam and Harry are already in the kitchen when he walks in. Liam is perched on a stool with a mug in front of him, hair slicked back from a shower. Harry is slouched over, elbows on the island counter, staring at whatever is in the bowl in front of him. Harry looks like Louis feels. Only Harry is all wild hair and long limbs. Wine and Jack Daniels do not mix well apparently. 

 

“Not a word Liam, I mean it.” Harry is talking, but still not lifting his head or eating. He seems just to be using the food as an excuse to occupy his gaze. The words fade rather quickly from Harry's lips when he realises Louis standing there. Harry’s still keeping secrets. Louis isn’t surprised. Neither one of them were exactly forthcoming with what they have actually been up to the last couple years. Louis is sure that Harry hasn’t been wandering aimlessly and alone for the last while. He’s not naive. But what is he telling Liam that the rest of the boys can’t know? Louis wonders, but doesn't ask out loud. It's not his place, and he has the sense enough to realise that.

 

“Please Liam, tell me that we aren’t spending a whole two weeks inside this house. I am climbing the walls already.”

 

“Nah mate, there’s a few things to do around this place." Liam perks up at the idea. "We could go for a hike or even camp for a night or two!”

“Ugh Liam, you know how I feel about tents. I need amusement, I need entertainment." Louis knows he's treading drama queen territory, but he can't stop his mouth sometimes. "Make this trip worth my while Liam!” As soon as the words are out of his mouth though, he remembers that he is there for two very good reasons, and one of them is sitting across the table from him. He is about to apologise but Harry puts his hand up.

 

“Don’t, please.” Harry says.

 

Louis knows that he is trying to sound amused by Louis' dramatics, but Louis knows better.

 

The problem is that Louis doesn’t really know what to do about that anymore. His old tactic was to ignore it until it went away. Louis loved Harry, but he was shit at face to face confrontation and apologies. It’s amazing Harry stuck around for as long as he did really. Louis is a real life adult now though, and he’s in the middle of nowhere because he was a bad friend to begin with, so he has to figure something out.

 

“I don’t know about you Harry, but these boys are being awful boring. Why don’t we skip out for the day. See what we can see, yes?” Louis knows that Harry sees right through it, but he is polite enough not to say.

 

“Sounds great Lou, let me go get dressed.” And until then, Louis didn’t notice that Harry is sitting in nothing but a very tight pair of briefs. Lust is the only way Louis can describe what hits him when he sees Harry like this. It comes out of no where, and he scrambles to gather his senses again.

 

“I may have to implement the dress code again Styles. There are other human people around you know. Sensitive eyes and all that.” That gets Louis a proper laugh, as Harry shuffles out of the kitchen.

 

“Stop looking at my ass Louis.” Which is exactly what Louis is doing. 

 

 

Not even ten minutes later Harry is back downstairs dressed in dark blue jeans, again, painted on it seems, and a gold button down shirt with what looks like fish all over it. Louis gives him a questioning eyebrow, but Harry just shrugs his shoulders.

 

“I’m a mermaid” Like that is the answer to any question. But it’s not the first time he has heard Harry say it, so he goes along. Louis himself is only dressed in gray joggers and a dark blue t shirt. His hair pulled back in a beanie. He’s hoping that Harry isn’t expecting anything too fancy. Louis doesn’t even know where he’s going.

“Are you ready for our adventure young Harold? I am driving.” 

 

“Ready as I’ll ever be” 

 

It’s not that Louis has never been here. It’s just that he doesn’t remember anything about it. It’s one of the downfalls of being a celebrity who travels the world for a living. He’s been to so many places, he just never really got a chance to actually see any of it. Louis starts driving in the direction that he came while navigating to the house. He remembers seeing some shops and touristy things and thinks that is a good place to start.

 

“You didn’t have to do this you know.” Harry’s voice snaps Louis out of his own thoughts. Harry is looking in Louis’ direction, but not really looking at him. Long fingers stretched towards the radio, but not actually touching anything. Almost as though he’s making up his mind as to what to do with it.

 

“Would you rather have taken your car? Because the last time I got into a car with you, I vowed it would be the last. I really hope you’re driving’s improved by the way, for the sake of the innocent pedestrians.” Harry smiles, and shakes his head. He decides on a station, but keeps the volume low as to not interrupt the conversation.

 

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it Louis.” Harry is trying to sound stern, but he’s smiling too much. “I know you are feeling guilty about this morning… and everything else. I want you to know that it’s ok. We are ok. We don’t have to do, well, this,” as he waves his arm, taking in the car and scenery. 

 

“Well what if I want to anyway?” Louis asks quietly. He doesn’t know what he is expecting to happen today, but he knows that he doesn’t really care what he does, as long as he gets to do it with Harry. It’s like he’s getting as much time as he can while he can. He should be feeling this way about all of the boys, but maybe Harry is different because Louis saw him the least. 

 

“Wow me then Mr. Tomlinson. What adventures will we see?” Harry seems satisfied with Louis' response because he looks like a little child in the passenger seat on his way to Disney World. This is going to be a great day.

 

The first place they stop is a little visitor’s information booth. They are being tourists after all, why not go all out? The kind lady behind the desk seems delighted to see them. Louis can’t tell if it’s because she recognizes them, or because she’s bored and welcoming a distraction. She doesn’t say either way, just points them to a few brochures and waits for any questions they might have. Louis picks up a handful of the brochures and starts flipping through.

 

“Camping no, fishing pass, hiking nope, rock climbing definitely out…”

 

“Do you never go outside Louis?” Harry teases “Exercise won’t kill you. I promise.” 

 

“Oi, I get plenty of exercise. Buns of steel I have.” He can’t help but reach down and skim his hand over his own ass. He’s isn’t blind. He knows it’s one of his best physical features. “I just prefer to get my fresh air on a pitch, not the middle of a forest.”

 

“Okay then, is there anything here that you see that you actually want to do?" Louis notices that Harry didn’t look at a single flyer, waiting for Louis to decide. Some habits are hard to break Louis guesses.

 

“ A theatre!” Louis notices a little ad on the wall as he glances past Harry.

 

“You want to see a movie?” Harry doesn’t seem to think that Louis’ decision is a very good one, and suck on him because he is so wrong.

 

“No Harry, a play! Look, there is a production today.” He turns to the smiling lady behind the desk. “Who puts these on? Are they professional? “

 

“No, no. Not professional. It is a small group of students who have a very dedicated drama teacher. It would be so wonderful if you two could make it. The turnout tends to be on the small side.” She looks apologetic, but Louis is actually excited. He used to love to perform and being able to watch a younger generation being passionate about something he once loved is almost thrilling to him. 

 

“That sounds like exactly what we were looking for. Would you know what they are performing?” Not that it mattered. 

 

“Peter Pan,” the lady supplied still smiling like the sun. Behind him Louis hears a strange sound. He turns around to see Harry trying to contain his outburst of laughter, but failing miserably. 

 

“And what, pray tell, is so funny Harry?” Louis tries to look dignified, his arms crossed over his chest, nose in the air.

 

“Not a thing…Peter.” At that Harry is downright howling. And haha, yes. Louis is Peter Pan. It was a long standing joke with their fans, and within the band as well if Louis is honest with himself. “I mean, look at you Louis. You are even standing like Peter Pan. This is great. I can’t wait to go.” 

 

“You are not ruining this for me Harry.” Louis says, correcting his pose. “We are going to have a great time.” He turns to the brochure lady. “ Thank you so much. You were so very helpful” Louis starts to walk towards the door. He turns to Harry as they are walking. “Come along Tinkerbell” Harry bursts out laughing all over again. 

 

They still have a few hours to kill before the theatre opens, so they decide to find a place to go for lunch. There doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of options, but end up finding a nice looking little pub and decide to try their luck. They were easily seated, given the early time of day and being a weekday.

 

As they are seated and handed menus, Harry looks at Louis. He has a bit of a glint in his eye and says. “I have a confession to make.” This makes Louis sit up a little straighter. Harry knows how to get his attention. Louis gives him a scrutinizing look. Trying to pretend like he isn’t that nosy. It gives Louis a small chance to really look at Harry. Harry is the most beautiful thing that Louis has ever seen. He has thought that almost from the moment he laid eyes on the curly headed sixteen year old. He knew from the start that Harry was going to change his life. He just didn’t realise how much. He also didn’t realise there would ever be a time that sitting across from him would hurt. Never the less, they were here now and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it. He was "friend" Louis. So as a friend, he puts a smile on his face and gives Harry the floor.

 

“Out with it then Styles. Let’s hear.”

 

Harry leans back in his seat, one long leg propped up over the other as though he’s about to give Louis a long drawn out story. But he just smiles, and says, “I’ve been keeping an eye on you, that’s all.” Louis is somewhat confused by this. He hasn’t laid eyes on Harry in years, literally. As far as he knew hasn’t been in the same country for years. 

 

“What are you going on about Harry?” Louis leans forward in his seat. “You do talk some shit.”

 

“You’ve been in the media. We are still a little famous you know. I have just been keeping an eye on what you have been doing. And I think it’s really great.” Louis tries to stop himself from blushing, but he is pretty sure that that isn’t even a thing. So unfortunately he does, and Harry seems to notice because he smiles a little brighter. 

 

“I have hardly been changing the world Harry. I am not sure what this great is that you are referring.” Louis is now wrapping his napkin around his fingers. He loves to talk and sometimes about himself, but Louis just does not like taking a compliment. It’s still something that he struggles with. 

 

“Oh please, you are an openly gay, successful owner of one the most prestigious football teams in the UK. Most prestigious largely because of you. You are changing the way people see… us.” The word us holds a lot of weight, and Louis knows how much it means to Harry that Louis even just came out to the public. 

 

“Thank you Harry. That… that means a lot coming from you. I mean I didn’t do it for the attention, but it is just so great to be free of all that.” He doesn’t have to elaborate on what that was. Harry knows. He lived through it with Louis. Suffered through it more like. 

 

“I’m proud of you Louis. I am glad I get to tell you that in person.” Harry reaches over and gives Louis’ hand a quick squeeze. Louis is still smiling like an idiot when the food arrives. 

 

They make their way to the theatre and so the play isn’t broadway quality and it is a small turnout, but it’s a great time none the less. Louis and Harry both have a wonderful time watching the young men and women try so hard to be passionate about something that Louis was passionate about. The boys even manage to find their way backstage afterwards and humbly ask for a few autographs. The day may not have started with the best intentions, but Louis is glad that he drug Harry out. Harry seems happy as well.

 

On the way home they are both quiet. Louis is so happy that he has had the opportunity to have this time with Harry. It never really occurred to Louis that he would have this second chance.. Losing him was something that Louis really pushed into the back of his mind. Even still though it’s hard for Louis to feel excited about the prospect of starting new. A lot has happened over the last few years, and he has no right to ask Harry to just forget that. He has to be able to take what he can get from Harry. Even if it’s just the remaining days here with him and the other boys. Louis has to remind himself that Harry isn’t his anymore, and he will likely walk away sooner or later to rejoin his world, his life. A life that Louis wasn’t in. 

 

“Y’alright Lou?” a deep voice brings him out of his head.

 

“I’m fine, why?” Louis answers a little too quickly.

 

“You are doing an awful lot of frowning over there. Did something happen?”

 

“No, it’s ok. I’m ok.” Louis tries to sound upbeat. He really doesn’t want to bring Harry down with his thoughts.

 

“Whatever you say Louis,” Harry sighs There’s a tinge in Harry’s voice. Not anger, or annoyance, but something sour. Something that reminds Louis that all the doubts that he has about this, this new thing that him and Harry are trying to do, Harry has them too. Louis wonders how long he is going to have to tiptoe around Harry. How long is Harry going to hold back? Will anything ever actually change between them? 

 

They pull in front of the large house. The sun has already set, but there is still a hint of light in the distance. Harry and Louis are silent as they get out of the car. The few short sentences between them seemed to change the air. There seemed to Louis like nothing was left to be said about it. 

 

Louis spotted a very still form leaning against another car in the drive. Zayn was smoking a cigarette. It looked to Louis like he was about to leave, as it was his own car he was leaning against, but Zayn didn’t seem in a hurry to go anywhere as him and Harry started to move toward him. With a smirk on his lips, he eyes the scene coming toward him.. 

 

“Have fun you two?” Zayn quirks his eyebrow.

 

Something inside Louis snaps. He doesn’t need this shit while Harry is standing right next to him. Zayn could be such a twat when he wanted to be. “Piss off Zayn…” He changes course towards the house and doesn’t look back. He doesn’t see the two boys standing in the drive staring at his back as he huffs off. He doesn’t see the looks on their faces. One of confusion, one of disappointment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the help Brinner. You make the story better.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some sex in this chapter. Just a heads up.

Louis knows that Zayn is not going to let him get away with being the ass that he was being, so Louis is expecting the knock on his door when it comes ten minutes after he rushes in and throws himself face down on the bed. He is also not at all surprised when the door opens without invitation from Louis to come in. What Louis is not expecting is the person who is standing by the bed when he eventually looks up to face the wrath. Harry, great.

“Zayn sending you to fight his battles now? He’s getting soft.”

 

“I am not here for Zayn, although he is waiting for you outside…” Louis groans. “ I am here for me.” Louis slowly turns over. He’s confused, but that seems to be the status quo for the last few days where Harry was concerned. “We had a perfectly good day Lou.” Harry is staring at him with confusion and is starting to make some wild hand gestures already, which Louis is smart enough to remember is the beginning of a really good lecture. He pulls himself into a sitting position and crosses his legs, facing in the direction in which Harry is still standing. “You wanted to go out and do something together. You picked the place we ate, you picked the play, you drove, you talked about Big Brother UK for an hour. An hour Louis. How much do I like Big Brother?”

 

“You don’t.”

 

“I don’t. But you do, and you did everything you loved the entire day. Then you got broody and snapped at Zayn. What happened? 

 

Louis wishes he could answer that. Anything that comes to his head is just a jumble of questions and doubts. He goes with his go to answer for anything that is bothering him. “Nothing.” he says as he suddenly notices how fascinating his hands are as they sit in his lap.

 

“Nothing,” Harry parrots him. Louis just shrugs his shoulders, still not looking up. Suddenly the bed shifts, and Harry has his arms wrapped around Louis, hugging him tightly. 

 

“What’s that for?” Louis doesn’t make a move to hug him back but doesn’t pull away either. 

 

“I like hugging,” Harry says simply. “I am tired of tiptoeing around you Louis. And I like hugging, so if you want to be able to be broody and grumpy whenever you want, I get to hug you whenever I want.” Louis can get on board with this he guesses. 

 

“Thank you,” Louis responds and hugs him back briefly before Harry pulls away to look at him. 

 

“Now it’s Zayn’s turn,” Harry smiles and walks out the door. Louis groans and throws himself face down on the bed again.

 

 

The rest of the week is a lazy mixture of activities. Sometimes the boys do something as a group. Sometimes they don’t. And it’s ok, because they always seem to gravitate towards one another eventually anyway. Harry is keeping his promise and is getting close to Louis whenever he can. Louis can see that he is doing the same with the other boys as well, so Louis is trying to tell himself that he isn’t getting special attention, but there’s no denying that Harry has been giving most of his attention to Louis. Maybe he’s trying to make up for lost times. Maybe it’s just easier with them. They have always had a connection. That hasn’t completely died yet.

 

The unfortunate part of this is that it’s giving Louis all kinds of feelings. Feelings that he is trying to ignore, or at the very least explain away. Louis can’t afford to want Harry. He knows that it will just end in a painful goodbye when this trip is over. He wants to walk away happy and hopeful for a chance to actually see Harry again. So Louis masks himself with a smile and tries to think of non sexy things and tries to remind himself of all of Harry’s most annoying habits. It’s not really helping, but he’s trying. He needs a medal for how hard he’s trying.

 

 

At the end of the first week, the weather decides to turn cold and the rain is hard. They all decide to stay in for the day. Niall goes to the shop closest and buys enough food and liquor to stock them for a month. Louis chooses some activities. Liam is just back from a day with Sophia and the twins. (Cheater) He didn’t think he could go another week without seeing them, but he is back, as promised. 

 

They all hunker down in the large den that has two massive couches. One is a large fluffy dark blue sectional, and the other is a slightly smaller gray couch. There’s a low and sturdy coffee table in the center, and a 50” television mounted on the wall between the two seats. They really have no reason to leave the room except for the bathroom. Niall solves the problem of trekking to the kitchen by hauling in a cooler and a mini fridge. They finally get settled in a way that was most comfortable to them. Harry and Louis on the smaller couch. Niall, Zayn, and Liam on the other. They fell into a natural form over the last week. A way of doing things that they all perfected from years on the road together. They knew who to turn to when something was lost. (Liam) They knew who would know the name of that guy at that party that went home with that girl. (Niall) They knew that Zayn needed to be alone at least a few hours out of the day, and they knew that Harry and Louis shared everything. 

 

“One each,” Louis gives a warning look. Another routine. When they had days like this, they each got to pick a movie. They may not all get watched, but they played Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who went first. It was all very childish, but this was how they learned to cope with the enormity of the life they lived. Louis likened it to Lord Of The Flies sometimes. Just a bunch of kids trying to make sense of the chaos. He thinks they come out of it alright. 

 

“And fire is not part of Rock, P,aper Scissors, ya cheater,” Zayn threw a look at Harry. Harry just smiled and leaned back. Not swayed by the insult. 

 

“Ok boys, do you have your movie chosen? “ The other four nod at Louis. They all automatically stick out their hands and start. 

 

Five rounds and two arguments later, Niall wins the right to have his movie first in. It’s Back To The Future, which is nice, and light, so the boys settle down to enjoy. They are fairly quiet through Niall’s movie. They even attempt to pay attention to Zayn’s Batman. But by the time they get to Liam’s Ace Ventura, the television is forgotten, and they are in a battle of wits over who actually was the best dancer of the five of them. 

 

“Please Liam, who choreographed Best Song Ever? Me, that’s who,” Louis quips.

 

“That was one time, not to mention five years ago Louis. Let it go.” Liam gives a superior look as Louis huffs indignantly. He looks over at a giggling Harry, eyebrows raised. 

 

“I am not sure what you are laughing at Curly, you’re not even in the running.”

 

“Hey!” Harry whines, face falling indignantly. “I had moves.”

 

“Oh, you had moves all right. They just weren’t good ones,” Harry throws a pillow at him, cutting him off. 

 

“I don’t dance, you all just made a fool of yourselves out there. I got out dignity in tact, thank you very much,” Zayn says quietly. He is practically melded into the couch, looking like he’s ready to pass out. Maybe he was. The man could sleep literally anywhere. 

 

Niall decides to stand on the coffee table to be seen better and yells, “I am the best dancer in this band!” and with those words, the house goes dark. Everyone goes silent for a moment, looking at one another, and then all at once burst out laughing. 

 

“Well, I guess that settles it then. Winner, Niall Horan everyone,” Liam attempts to lift Niall’s arm in victory without actually joining him on the coffee table. 

 

“So what now?” Harry almost whispers. The house is so quiet without the background noise of the TV and the hum of appliances. 

 

“Let’s find some candles. It will be full dark soon.” Liam and Niall set out through the house to search for light. Harry starts to tidy up, as he does when he’s unsettled. Zayn pretends he’s asleep so he doesn’t have to share in a task. Louis starts setting up shot glasses.

 

“What’s that for, Louis?” Harry asks. Louis gives him mischievous look. He is always the man with a plan. 

 

“Drinking game,” Louis replies like it’s the most obvious answer. Harry half groans, but knows he’s all in anyway. Too competitive for his own good, especially when it comes to Louis.

 

Niall and Liam come back a short time later with a few candles, some flashlights, and a couple actual lanterns that are already lit. Everything is off the coffee table but a couple dozen shot glasses, bottles to refill, and what snacks are left. “Oh, we’re drinking now, are we?” Niall asks in delight. “‘Bout time this party got started!”

 

“We aren’t as young as we once were Niall, we can’t drink ten hours of the day. “ Louis retorts, hand on hip.

 

“Says you,” Niall sasses back. “I actually go out and do things, not sit home on a Friday with my reality TV and twitter followers.”

 

“Excuse you, but I have a lot of people who depend on me giving my honest opinion of who I am casting my vote for on X Factor. Don’t take that from my people.” Niall snorts and turns to sit down.

 

“So what will it be?” Zayn seeming to come out of his stupor to participate. 

 

“I will give the choice to you.” He looks at Harry, “Truth or Dare or Never Have I Ever?” Harry looks nervous. Louis doesn’t know if it’s because he has to make the decision or because he might actually have to answer some questions about himself. Probably both.

 

“Never have I Ever, I guess.” 

 

“Good Choice. I’ll go first.” Louis rubs his hands together and looks each of the boys in the eye. “Never have I ever had sex with a woman.” The other boys all groan because this is too easy for Louis. Everyone drinks. Although Harry looks begrudging at having to do so. Louis gives him a look, but doesn’t say anything. “Your turn Harry.” 

 

“Never have I ever been in love with a woman.” Another groan from the couch across from him. 

 

“Is this how this game is going to go? Gay vs. Straight? We’re being punished for liking girls?” Niall looks affronted, but is actually laughing. Louis is pleased. Not that he wished Harry was alone for the years they have been apart, but he can’t help but believe that Harry didn’t get over him too quickly. Not that there couldn’t have been men, but it was a start.

 

“My turn,” Niall interrupts his thoughts, giving him and Harry a dirty look. “Never have I ever had a dick up my bum.” He harumphs, elbowing Zayn with a smile, as though to say ‘that will teach them.’ His smile turns to a look of shock however when Zayn picks up a cup and silently drinks. “Zayn?” Niall says, scandalized. 

 

“Don’t act like you didn’t know”

 

“I knew you weren’t really fussy about what you put yours into, but I didn’t know you let someone..” as Niall says this he notices Zayn give the most subtle of looks to the other man sitting beside him. Liam looks somewhat bashful. “LIAM???? It was Liam? Liam put his dick in your ass, and this is the first I have heard of this? What other secrets do we have here? I can’t believe you two. Do the girls know what you have been up to?"

 

“NO!” Liam shouts, to be heard over Niall’s hysterics. “And it was years ago, we just had to … get it out of our system.” Liam cleared his throat and looked at his feet.

 

“Don’t act like you didn’t love it.” Zayn smiles and stretches like a cat. 

 

“You are such a slut Zayn, Jesus” Louis tries to looks disgusted, while Zayn just sticks his tongue out, seemingly pleased with himself.

 

“I think it’s my turn now?” Liam tries to compose himself and looks serious about his task, “Never have I ever dressed like a woman." He looks pretty pleased with himself. Thinking he is taking Zayn down for his previous confession.

 

“Oh please,” Louis rolls his eyes, as he takes his shot. 

 

“I spent over a year wearing women’s clothes before I came out,” Harry smiled and took his shot.

 

“Who in the hell has never dressed like a woman, ever hear tell of Halloween Leeyum?” Niall takes his shot. Liam just slumps in his couch, obviously feeling defeated. Everyone else laughs.

 

And it goes on like that for the better part of an hour. All the boys are sufficiently drunk as the candles are starting to dim. They are all running out of things they have never done because,well, they were young and famous and in a boy band. They did a lot of stupid shit, ok?

 

“I really missed this, you know?” Niall only somewhat slurs. He does after all have the best tolerance for liquor. Damn his Irish blood. “It’s been so long.”

 

“We must be fireproof,” Harry chimes in, wrapping his arms around Louis. “Cause nobody saves me baby, the way you do.”

 

“And nobody loves you baby, the way I do,” Louis sings more softly, for only Harry to hear. Harry looks him in the eyes and the corners of his mouth lifts. Neither of them make a move to let go of one another though and that’s how they sit, while Niall starts into an accapela version of Right Now. 

 

“You know what lads?” Liam leans forward like he has a secret. “We should write a couple songs together. For old time sake.” Louis scoffs. He couldn’t string a sentence together right now nevermind write a song. “Too drunk,” he manages. See, not even a sentence. 

 

“Not right now!” Liam rolls his eyes. “This week. It’ll be great.” 

 

“If you say so Liam,” Louis shifts a little in his seat. It has an interesting effect though because the more Louis moves, the tighter Harry clings to him. “You’ve got me Harry, I’m not going anywhere.” Harry looks at him curiously.

 

“No?” he asks sleepily

 

“Well, I can’t move, so no, I do not think I will be getting up”

 

“Oh, well… good.” Louis is too drunk and tired to ask what that means, but when he looks past Harry he sees the other boys all starting to stand. Zayn is getting help from Niall and Liam to uncurl from the couch.

 

“We are going to put sleeping beauty to bed, and I think we are heading in.” Niall said brightly. Not looking at all tired

 

“I think I am going to call Sophia… yea, that’s what I need to do.” Liam looks shiftily at Harry and Louis, very obviously avoiding eye contact with Zayn. Niall rolls his eyes and they all head up the wide staircase together. Louis notices this isn’t the first, or even the second time the boys have done this. They are not winning any awards for subtlety anytime soon.

 

“I don’t know what they are trying to pull,” Louis crosses his arms over Harry’s that are still wrapped around his waist. “We have obviously mended our friendship haven’t we?” Harry nods and smiles “What more do they want?” Harry just shrugs and releases Louis. Slowly, like a sloth almost. Louis thinks maybe he’s going too, but Harry just leans forward and starts blowing out the candles that are still lit and turns off the lanterns sitting on the coffee table. It’s not a bad idea because if they pass out without doing it, they could burn the house down, but now they are sitting in complete darkness. The storm was still strong outside, so not even the light of the moon filtering in. He could barely see Harry sitting right next to him. 

 

He didn’t really have to see him though because as soon as Harry was settled back into the couch he arms came back to Louis’ waist, head on his shoulder. “Tell me a story Louis. Tell me a story of you family. What are your sisters and brother doing? Tell me about the babies.”

 

“Well, they’re not babies anymore Haz. Ernest and Doris are four years old now. Almost time for school. They grow so much every time I see them. Ernest has no interest in football, you know?” Harry made a noise of surprise. “ Doris loves it though. She never misses a game if she doesn’t have to. Has already started on a team. She’s a year younger than anyone else on it.” Louis smiles as he’s recollecting taking her to her first practice. After all, he was the one who convinced the coach to let her try out even though she was so young. She was steps ahead of anyone else, even though she was at least a head shorter. Louis’ eyes start to gleam. “You know, I was so sad when we… I mean the band was done. But it has been such a great gift to see them grow. I missed so much of the other girls. It took everything in my power to convince mum to let me bring Lottie when I could.” His voice began to clog on the last breath. Tears threatening to spill. They were his biggest sacrifice to becoming “famous”. Ironic, since they were the reason he also did it. His family would never have to worry about money or education as long as he had a say about it. All he had to do was barely be a part of their lives for a few long years. None of what they went through would have been nearly worth it if it wasn’t for them. With that, the tears began to fall, and the arms that was lazily circling him were tightening up and drawing him into a hug. Harry was long armed and legged, and Louis was not, so the combination of the hug and the position that they were sitting causes Louis to practically be sitting on Harry’s knees. The hug was comforting, but it lasts a little long for a pity hug, even with his slow reflexes Louis feels something is different with Harry’s touch. 

 

“I’m sorry Louis,” Harry says, his deep voice slow and clogged with emotion.

 

“What are you sorry for?” Louis wipes his eyes and tries to not look pitiful.

 

“For what it did you,” Harry whispers. Louis tries to process, but as he opens his mouth Harry kisses Louis right on the mouth. Louis is shocked, but it feels too good, and he starts kissing him back. It’s so familiar, but at the same time different. It’s been a lot of years since he has felt these lips. Louis’ hands come up and he wraps them around the back of Harry’s neck, tangling his fingers in Harry’s hair at the nape. Harry licks into Louis’ mouth, and Louis happily obliges. He knows that this is such a bad idea. They just became friends again. This was going to set them back so bad. But Harry started it right? Harry wants to do this, so maybe Louis won’t seem so needy. While he’s in his thoughts, he doesn’t notice that Harry’s trying to pull away from his mouth. Harry puts his hands on either side of Louis’ face and physically pulls him back. 

 

“I want you to fuck me.” Wow, Louis didn’t expect that. That’s going quite far considering this is the most time they’ve spent together in years. “Please Louis?” 

 

“I...I, yeah. I want to do that. But, I don’t have anything, I didn’t really prepare for this, I can’t…”

 

“Yes we can Louis, we can, I promise.” Harry moans into Louis’ mouth. Hands on Louis’ hips trying to buck up towards him.

 

“Come on Haz, we aren’t that drunk.” Louis is trying to be light and responsible, but he feels Harry’s hands on him, and his own hard dick is betraying him. “I can... we can get each other off. We can do that.” 

 

Harry sighs and buries his face into Louis’ neck, kissing a wet trail down to Louis’ collar bone. “Yea, ok. Just now please. Want you now.” Harry starts to suck on Louis’ neck, and Louis almost comes on the spot from how good it feels just to have Harry’s mouth on him. 

 

“Fuck Harry, yea ok. But, how about we go upstairs. I know it’s pitch black here, but I don’t really need the boys walking in on us… again.” Harry chuckles at that. Poor Zayn has seen things he probably will never forget.

 

Louis gives Harry another kiss on the mouth as he uncurls himself from his lap. Harry stands and grips Louis by the hand. They stumble their way out of the room and towards the stairs. It’s so dark, and they aren’t that familiar with the house. Every step is a stumble, and they are making way too much noise. But they finally make it up to Harry’s room and get the door closed. Louis is starting to lose his nerve. He’s probably not sobering up, but the walk up gives him time to think about how bad of an idea this is. Harry seems to be having no such conversation with himself though because as soon as they are safely inside he attaches himself to Louis’ mouth again. Louis moans into it and reaches down to skim his hands along the edge of Harry’s t shirt. When he finds the soft skin of Harry’s stomach, Harry gasps like he was struck by lightening. Louis isn’t the only one affected by this. But he needs to know “Are you sure about this Harry? I don’t want to lose you again.”

 

“I’m right here, ‘m not going anywhere,” Harry mumbles. Louis’ still not moving, so Harry takes matter into his own hands and reaches down to elastic waist of Louis’ sweats. In one motion Louis’ sweats and pants are down to his ankles, and Harry is kneeling in front of him. Louis wishes he could see Harry. Harry was so beautiful on his knees for Louis. But at the same time not being able to see is making his sense of touch so much stronger. When Harry wraps his hand around Louis’ cock, Louis cannot concentrate on anything but the feel of Harry’s skin on his skin. And when Harry finally puts his lips on Louis’ head, it jolts him like he’s being burned.

 

“Holy shit Harry, you are such a fucking tease.” Louis reached down to cup the back of Harry’s head. Partly asking, partly telling Harry to get his mouth around Louis’ cock. Harry immediately obliges and instantly takes it all at once. Louis freezes, trying to not come after the first three seconds of this blow job. He somehow succeeds and runs his fingers through Harrys hair, gently caressing his scalp. Louis is enjoying the feel of Harry’s hot tongue curling around his cock, when Harry suddenly pulls off. Louis looks down, but only sees the shadow of Harry’s face.

 

“Fuck my mouth Louis.” Harry is trying to kill him. Louis was trying to be good and let Harry do what he wanted. But Harry wants Louis to be in control. He always did. Louis isn’t going to hold back anymore if that was the case. He grabs the back of Harry’s neck with both hands, and with one motion push his cock into the back of Harry’s throat. Harry makes a low sound from the impact and then swallows around Louis, making Louis buck into his mouth again. 

 

“Fuck Harry, I’m not going to last doing this.” Harry only moans in response, and Louis bucks into him a few more times. “I’m close.” Harry doesn’t make a move to back away from him, just keeps his mouth around Louis’ length, so Louis takes advantage. “Gonna cum in your mouth ok? And you’re going to swallow it all. Be good for me.” Harry moans again, more urgently, and Louis shoves into his mouth one more time and comes into the back of Harry’s throat. Harry swallows and gently releases him. 

 

“Need it, Lou,” Harry sounds wrecked, and desperate “need you.”

 

“Let’s go to the bed.” Louis says as he’s kicking off his pants that are pooled around his ankles. “Get these off.” Louis tugs at Harry’s jeans “Do you have to stand on your head to get these things on?” Louis sasses, which makes Harry chuckle.

 

“Not usually this...tight, fuck!” Harry curses when Louis manages to release his cock and give it a tight squeeze. They make their way to the bed, and Harry lays on his back spread eagle. Louis manages to get Harry’s jeans the rest of the way off and climbs on top of him. 

 

“Do you want me to suck you babe?” Louis whispers into Harry’s hair. “I can make you feel good with my mouth.”

 

“Inside me, I want you inside me… fingers, anything please.” Harry croaks, already coming apart from Louis touching him. Louis sticks his fingers in Harry’s mouth.

 

“Suck,” Louis commands. Harry does like his life depends on it while Louis is still gently stroking him with the other hand. When Louis feels his fingers are sufficiently greased, he gently positions himself between Harry’s thighs spreading him out. Louis kneels down and kisses Harry while he’s sticking his first fingers inside. Harry moans something into Louis’ mouth, but Louis can’t understand what it is. Once he has a rhythm going, Louis adds another finger and finds Harry’s prostate. It’s not difficult. They’ve done this so many times, it’s like nothing has changed between them. Like the last four years didn’t happen. Harry bucks up from the impact of Louis’ fingers just as Louis wraps his lips around Harry’s cock. 

 

“Another one Louis, I want another.” Harry is panting at this point. Louis adds a third finger and curls into Harry’s prostate again and again while he’s keeping the head of Harry’s cock between his lips. It only takes a few minutes of this, and Harry’s crying out while spilling himself into Louis’ mouth. Louis tries to catch it all but doesn’t manage. Harry doesn’t move as Louis slowly brings his finger out of Harry and cleans himself up with the box of tissues beside the bed. He then tentatively climbs into bed curling himself around Harry.

 

“We are so stupid,” Louis half laughs, half moans. Harry moves his hand around the bed and finally finds what he’s looking for. Louis’ hand.

 

“I know,” is all he says in response. That is the last of the conversation.

 

 

Louis forces himself awake before dawn. He notices by the bedside clock that the power is still out. He looks over and sees the shadow of Harry still sleeping peacefully beside him. Louis knows that he has to get out of the bed. He knows that he has to save Harry’s dignity. He doesn’t want to make Harry be forced to tell him that it was a mistake. He can’t even think of waking up to the regret in Harry’s eyes in the morning. Louis is only doing Harry a favour by tip toeing into his own room before anyone can see him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to @brinner xo. I think there is at least two chapters left. Possibly three.


	6. Chapter 6

When he wakes up again it’s daylight, and every light in his room is turned on. Louis groans at the effect it’s having on his head. He also has to pee really bad so he groans and moans his way out of bed and into that bathroom. A shower will make things better. He’s about 5 minutes into his shower and half lathered in soap when he swears right out loud. “Harry” It all floods back at once. Harry and him, they did stuff, they were really drunk. He was probably still drunk when he thought it was a great idea to slink out of Harry’s bed like a cheap one night stand. Now he is going to have to face him. Why in the hell is Louis allowed to be anywhere unsupervised. Every decision he makes should be reviewed by a board or something. What is he going to do?

The first thing he has to do is get out of the shower. He has to get dressed, and he has to find Harry. He does the first thing easily enough. But when he knocks on Harry’s door, there is no answer. He slowly opens the door, and finds the room is empty, the bed made. He does notice that Harry’s things are still spread around the room, so he didn’t pack up and leave completely, that’s a good sign. He makes his way down the stairs, peering into a room here and there. He also checks the drive to see if Harry’s car is still there.

“Morning Lou!” Harry cheerfully calls out. Louis just about wees himself on the spot. Harry’s standing in the kitchen in front of a cup of tea and what smells like a pan full of bacon. “Hungry?”

Louis makes his way slowly into the kitchen. He feels as though he’s approaching a wild animal. He tries to not make any sudden movements in case the the baby deer gets spooked and leaps into the forest.

“Uh, Haz?” Louis starts out uncertain. Really wanting to get this over with “Want to talk about last night?” Louis feels like he’s treading thin ice. This is not the greeting he was expecting for acting like a first rate douche last night.

“I know, I am quite hungover. I wonder how the other boys are doing?" Harry looks happy, he looks like he didn’t have drunken sex with his ex. What in almighty is going on here?

“Harry, what was the last thing you remember from last night?”

“Niall, Liam, and Zayn got up to go to bed, I blew out the candles and must have passed out shortly after. I don’t remember going to bed, but I do sleep walk sometimes, so…”

Fuck, this is worse than he thought. What in the hell is he going to do? He has to tell him, then he has to explain why he wasn’t there this morning, Harry is never going to speak to him again. Fuck fuck fuck...Louis looks up at Harry, and he is literally doubled over the counter with tears streaming down his face.

“What?” Louis has no idea what is going on. He is having the most fucked up morning in his life.

“Your face Lou, Jesus, of course I didn’t forget last night. I am fucking with you.” Harry is full out cackling at this. Louis doesn’t think it’s that funny and tells Harry as much. “Serves you right for being a shit and sneaking out on me” Harry replies, but he’s smiling. Louis takes a deep breath.

“So we’re ok?”

“We’re fine Louis, please relax. Come sit down. I don’t bite.” Louis isn’t so sure about that.

“You are a menace Harry Styles”

“And you love it Louis Tomlinson”

 

The other three boys eventually make their way down. All in their own state of misery. Harry and Louis decide to not mention the night before. They don’t really want to field any questions from their over protective friends who have no boundaries. It is just easier this way. It isn’t like it’s going to happen again, so no sense in getting anyone’s feathers up. This doesn’t stop Louis from feeling a tiny bit of regret. Just a little feeling in the back of his head. He tells himself it’s just because he hasn’t had sex in absolute ages and he misses it, but he knows himself better than that. It is obvious to Louis that Harry doesn’t want anything from him. He obviously doesn’t. Harry doesn’t seem to feel the slightest bit of emotion from them being...together, intimate. He was just scratching an itch, or whatever the kids were calling it these days. But that’s ok because they are friends, and no one is mad at one another. They can walk away at the end of the week not broken again. Right?

Louis doesn’t have much time to worry about it because the next few days are filled with Harry. As much time as Louis gets to spend with the other boys, it’s Louis and Harry now. Just like the beginning, just like when it was good. They eat together, they go to town together, they banter, and play games. They even argue, but it’s them again, and it feels really good.

“Louis, remember that time in Australia?” They are currently lying on the small dock that runs into the pond behind the house flat on their backs, hands behind their heads. Very relaxed from the joint they just shared. It had been a long time since Louis has smoked anything really, and it’s hitting him harder than it should. He isn’t complaining. Harry seems in a similar state.

“Which time Haz, we were there quite often.” Louis’ trying to focus, but his mind keeps drifting to random airports and seas of hotel rooms that all seem to blend together.

“2015, we were just starting OTRA.” A smile slowly spreads across Harry’s face at whatever he is remembering. “The Grammy’s” Harry doesn’t have to say much more than that to jog Louis’ brain. It was a rare moment in their lives at that point. They tried really hard to not be together, they really did. At that point, they just didn’t see any good coming from trying to make a relationship work. While there seemed to be so many people who were rooting for them to be happy as a couple, there were also so many who worked really hard to make sure it didn’t happen.

But they needed each other too, like a body needs air to survive, Louis needed Harry. So sometimes they would slip up. They would forget for a while that they were two separate people. All five of them, plus Sophia were gathered in Louis’ hotel room that night that Harry was thinking. They were watching for Ed Sheeran’s live performance. He was a good friend, and they were so happy for him. It took about five seconds for Louis to feel the neediness flowing from Harry. It took another five to kick everyone else out of the room. Maybe it would have been easier to just leave, but his brain was on one thing and that was Harry.

_By the time the room was theirs alone, Louis was straddling Harry. Harry partially propped up in bed with a mass of pillows behind him. Louis looked at Harry and smiled "sing to me" he said. So Harry started singing along to the TV and Ed's lyrics._

_"Take me into your loving heart, kiss me under the light of a thousand stars. Place your hand on my beating heart."_

_Louis did and Harry kissed the top of Louis' head, running his hands up Louis' back to bring him closer. Louis continued while the song played in the background._

_"I'm thinking out loud, maybe we... found... love. Right where we are."_

_Harry kissed the side of Louis' neck and slowly started to pull back the neck of his loose t shirt. He gave a small nip on Louis' shoulders. "Don't stop, keep singing." Louis continued the verse, as Harry's slowly undressed him. The words are not coming easily as he was so distracted by what Harry is doing to him._

_"I know you will still love me the same."_

_Louis managed to choke out and realized that Harry had stopped moving, stopped touching him. Louis looked at Harry properly, and sees tears in his eyes. "What's wrong Harry?" Louis is concerned._

_"I just love you so much. I need you, now please." Harry draws Louis into a tight embrace._

_"Of course, I love you too. I love you more than anything Harry."_

_They quickly finish undressing. Once they are back in bed and have reconnected, touching every part of one another. Not wanting to feel an inch apart from one another Harry says, "Could you do something for me?"_

_"Yes, yes Harry, whatever you need me to do."_

_"Keep singing. Sing our song. I need to he ar it from you, please." Louis thinks this is impossible seeing how Louis is currently inside Harry and there is nothing else occupying Louis' mind. "Please Louis, just try, for me" Louis listens to the background where Ed is still singing their song and tries to start._

_"I'm thinking about how people fall in love in m ysterious ways_  
_Maybe it's all part of a plan_  
_I'll just keep on making the same mistakes_  
_Hoping that you'll understand"_

_By the time Louis gets to the last line, he's more gasping the words than singing. It's such an emotional moment between them. The time they spent apart started to rip holes in his soul, and he knew that they both needed to mend. Harry didn't seem to notice that he stopped singing, he was engrossed in his own pleasure._

_"I'm close Harry," Harry grunted in response, and they come almost at the same time._

_"Thank you," Harry nuzzled his face into Louis' neck. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get emotional like that."_

_"I love you Harry"_

_"I love you Louis"_

_The phone rings, and jolts them out of the bubble they seemed to have created. Harry reaches to the nightstand where his mobile sits._

_"Did you watch, what did you think?" It was Ed._

_"Perfect, Ed, thank you so much"_

_"I am not sure I am following, but you're welcome" Harry just laughs and hangs up._

_"I'm totally telling him," Louis laughs. Harry looks scandalized._

_"Don't do that to him, he will never write a song for us again."_

_"Like it's ever stopped him before."_

 

“That was the last time Louis” Harry’s voice jolted Louis out of his memories.

“Yea, I guess it was. I kind of thought… nevermind” Louis feels like this is a little too close to a relationship talk. Louis doesn’t think they need that right now.

“What Louis, what did you think?” Harry is looking at him with a serious look.

“I thought that it was nice. I missed you a lot when you went to LA. It was nice to see you again.” They both know that’s not what Louis was thinking, but Louis was not about to talk about how he thought it was special, and how he thought they would have many more nights like that once they were done touring. He didn’t have much opportunity to think about it though because suddenly Harry was standing over him. He still looked serious. “Where are you going?”

“I…need… “ Louis could tell that Harry was struggling with his words. He is wringing his hands and looking at a non existent spot on the ground.

“What do you need Harry?” Louis is now standing as well. He can tell Harry is upset about something. He needs to make it go away. He can’t deal with Harry being sad.

“I need you to not lie to me!” Harry almost yelled. Hands raised in the air in frustration. Louis is completely confused. He has no idea how this conversation started, or how it turned into an argument.

“What are you talking about Harry? When did I lie to you?”

“I don’t even know! You have to be lying about something though because you told me you loved me then. You told me I was special, and that you loved me. And then you acted like you wanted nothing to do with me. One was a lie, and I lived with that for quite a while. We are friends now. And I can’t do the lying anymore. So whatever you just said about missing me then, it was a lie. That wasn’t what you were going to say. If we are going to be friends now. No more lying.”

Louis is shocked by this outburst, but at the same time, he has kind of been waiting for it since they got here. He can not expect Harry to have just let all of those years go. But this was not the way he thought it would come out. “I don’t know what you want me to say Harry. Of course I loved you. But… you know how I felt back then. I wish I was someone else. Someone who was happy just to be me. But I wasn’t. I can’t take those years back. I can’t fix that.”

“You can though,” Harry said gently. The fight already left him. “Stop lying to me. Just be honest. Be yourself. Let me talk to real Louis. Please just stop hiding from me.”

Louis doesn’t know what to say to this. He can’t tell Harry everything. Because telling him everything would mean that he had to tell Harry how hurt he was by Harry just leaving him. He would have to tell Harry that he loved him for years and couldn’t move on. He would have to risk losing Harry again. By the look on Harry’s face, he seems to understand the dialogue in Louis’ head because he looks quite disappointed by what he sees.

“I’m going back to the house., getting cold out here.” Louis doesn’t think he’s just talking about the weather, but he lets him go anyway.

 

Louis lasts about 10 minutes alone before he trudges back up to the house. He looks for the one person who he trusts to be completely honest with him. Even if it hurts. “ZAYN!!” he yells as soon as his foot hits the floor of the kitchen. His hysterics is met with a silent house. Where in the hell is everyone? “ZAYN!!!!” he yells a little louder. Nothing. No one even tells him to shut up and quit yelling, odd. He pulls out his phone

 **Louis-Zayn**  
where in the hell is everyone?

 

 **Zayn-Louis**  
basement

 

 **Louis-Zayn**  
This place has a basement???

 

 **Zayn-Louis**  
Guess so, I’m in it so…

 

 **Louis-Zayn**  
How do I get into this basement of yours TWHS

 

 **Zayn-Louis**  
open the door off the kitchen

 

 **Zayn-Louis**  
What are you 13?

 

Turns out there is a door there. Louis opens it expecting to find a rickety dusty old storage area. He is quite surprised when he finds a sturdy looking carpeted and well lit staircase. Louis starts walking down, and is even more surprised by what he finds when he gets there. Liam, Niall, Zayn, and even Harry are sitting on leather furniture with various pieces of musical instruments around them.

“What’s this lads?” Louis feels like he has been thrown into a time warp or twilight zone.

“I said we should write some songs. Maybe just play around a little. I went this morning, and scrounged up some instruments.” These stray instruments look a lot like Liam’s actual collection, and Louis guesses that he used it as an excuse to go home again for a few hours. Not that Louis blames him. If he had someone to go home to, he wouldn’t stay away for too long either.

“So, just like that, we are going to write an album? What’s even the point?” Louis tries not to sound sassy and ungrateful, but he’s still stinging from his conversation with Harry, and he can tell that Harry is pointedly looking at his own feet.

“It made you happy.” Is all Liam said in response. And dammit, Liam can be so simple at times, but so right. Louis loved doing this. He has to stop fighting everything all the time.

“Of course. I am sorry Liam. I'd love to write with you. What then. What shall we write? Love songs? A little rock perhaps?”

“A lullaby” Harry almost whispers. “She brought us together, lets write a song for her?” Harry is of course talking about Zayns unborn child. Louis almost forgot what made him pack up and head here in the first place.

“That sounds perfect actually.” Louis smiles fondly at Harry. Harry smiles back, but a little sadly. Louis wishes he could fix that, but he honestly doesn’t know how. He will have to figure it out later. “Someone start.”

Niall picks up a guitar and starts strumming something soft and gentle. Liam starts to hum along. Louis can’t believe that he used to be able to do this as a job. The realization seeps into his mind, and he can’t keep the smile off his face. He was so tired at the end, so burnt out that he completely forgot that this was such a wonderful and fun thing.

After a couple minutes of messing around with a tune, Harry starts to sing.

 

 _"I’ve been looking for you for a long time now_  
_through cities and towns, but I don’t know how_  
_I expected to find you with my sad eyes closed_  
_you were always right there, whatever path I chose"_

 

It is so beautiful and sad. Louis can’t stop staring at Harry. Where did it come from? Was he broken hearted? Is that why he’s been so reserved? Maybe he didn’t want to talk to Louis about his love life. It’s a lot for Louis to take in. It’s not like Harry was going to just pine over him for years. Louis is a realistic person, but the time they have been spending together makes it feel like they were the old Harry and Louis. And the thought of someone else being on Harry’s mind hurt a little.

“Keep it up,” Niall is encouraging Harry. And Louis does admit that it is a good start, so they all stay quiet, and wait for Harry to continue.

 

 _"Run, and I will follow_  
_Lead me, I will chase_  
_although my heart is hollow_  
_your love is saving grace"_

 

“That’s pretty fucking depressing” Niall pipes in when Harry is done singing.

“Most lullabies are if you really listen to them. You don’t have to use it if you don’t want.” He says as he turns to Zayn.

“Maybe if it has a happy ending “ Zayn smiles at Harry.

“Let me give it a try,” Louis pipes in. He feels like he’s treading on thin ice, and he doesn’t even really know why. Making Harry happy isn’t his best skill, but God knows he tries.

 

 _"I am the earth_  
_you are the sun_  
_I might not see you_  
_but you never leave me_  
_just open your eyes_  
_and reach out your hand_  
_I will be here for you_  
_I’ll always love you"_

 

“Much better,” Liam says, and Louis doesn’t think he’s just talking about they song. Louis on the other hand is very overwhelmed by what is going on right now. Songwriting is so exposing to the soul. Louis hasn’t had to think about love for a while now. He’s been happy in his little bubble of work and family.

“I need to go and get some air. I will be back in a few. Keep working on the song lads, sounds great so far!” Louis is trying to sound as chipper as he can so the other boys can’t see him panicking. He walks up the stairs as calmly as possible, but when he makes it out the kitchen door, he starts to run. He doesn’t know why and he doesn’t know where he’s going, but it’s going to be far away from his feelings, and if he’s being honest. It’s going to be far away from Harry Styles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is the last one, and then an epilogue.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. The last chapter. I am going to add an epilouge, but just something fluffy, and lovely. Thanks to all who have read it. xo

Louis loves Harry. Still, after all these years, and he has spent the last two weeks trying to forget that. He can’t stop pretending anymore. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do, but the only thing he can think of is to get the hell away from him. 

 

It wasn’t dark when he left the house, but by the time he reaches the edge of the trees, the sun has set. He noticed a walking path earlier in the week when he was wandering the grounds. He didn’t explore it, but he heads for it now hoping for some solitude. The path is beautiful, but he’s getting tired and can’t see well. Louis finds a big tree and climbs up a few branches. He doesn’t know what he’s going to say to the boys when he gets back, but knows he needs to figure out what he’s going to say to Harry. Can he be friends with Harry without him knowing that he’s been in love with him for all these years? 

 

Louis doesn’t know how long he sits in the tree wrapped in his own thoughts, but he is startled out of them when he hears someone on the path from where he just come. 

 

“Louis?” It was Harry. He wasn’t yelling, his voice was almost a whisper. Louis couldn’t bring himself to answer back. He wasn’t ready for a conversation that could tear everything apart again. He stays as quiet as he can. Harry walks closer. “Fuck,” Harry mumbles. His voice sounds broken and harsh. He hears a rustle in the leaves below his tree. Harry must have sat down. What he hears next though breaks his heart even more. Harry’s crying. “Please… please don’t let him leave me again,” his voice is thick and broken. Louis can hear the sniffles. Harry isn’t trying to hold back his emotions. “I can’t lose him again. God, please let me keep him for a little while longer.” Louis can’t believe what he’s hearing. Harry wants him? Harry is afraid to lose him? “I love him,” Harry sobs “Please Louis, I love you so much.” Louis doesn’t even know what to say. But he does know that he can’t sit and listen to Harry sound so broken. 

 

“Harry,” he almost whispers, but Harry hears him. He jumps up, probably scared out of his wits. Louis jumps out of the tree landing a few feet from where Harry is standing. 

 

“I… I didn’t mean for you to hear that,” Harry looks embarrassed and not at all happier than he was a minute ago.

 

“Why not Harry? Why would you not tell me that you still love me?”

 

“Me loving you is how I lost you the first time. I told myself if I ever had the chance to have you back in my life, I wouldn’t do anything to mess it up again.” Harry won’t even look Louis in the eye. He wipes his tears with the back of his sleeve.

 

“Harry, you didn’t lose me. You never lost me. I have always been here. You are the one who left. You were always the one who was walking away. If anyone lost anyone, it was me who lost you.” Louis was trying to be gentle with him, he really was. But this was all news to Louis. 

 

“You didn’t want me, you didn’t love me,” Harry says almost desperately. 

 

“You left, Harry. To LA, and then every damn country you could land your feet. I was here, right here. In the same country, in the same damned house for Christ sake. I was here, and you left. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t want to kick myself for pushing you away, but I never stopped loving you.” Louis can’t stop, now that he’s started. Every emotion that he’s been feeling for the last four years, and even before that bubbles to the surface. Tears start to spill onto his cheeks.

 

“I thought you didn’t want me anymore.”

 

“I thought you didn’t want me anymore,” Louis mirrors.

 

“You never stopped loving me?" Harry takes a step closer to Louis

 

“I have loved you since I was 18. I still love you just as much today. I am sorry if that’s not what you want to hear from me, but I have never once stopped loving you.” And with that Harry kisses him. Louis’ whole body is enveloped by Harry’s. It’s desperate, almost a question looking for an answer. Louis kisses him back, trying to give him the comfort he needs. 

 

“I have spent the last two years trying to get over you. All the places I have gone, I was trying to find a place that made me feel like I wasn’t broken, hollow. I never found it. You haunted my dreams and my reality. And I am sorry if that’s not what you want to hear, but please just give me a chance."

 

Louis knows there are a thousand things he should say, but none of it seems to be enough. “We should get back to the house. The rest of the boys are probably getting worried about us.”

 

“Not much of a change from the usual then, I don’t think,” Harry jokes making Louis laughs.

 

They walk back together. Somewhat content, somewhat still broken. “We need to have a serious talk about this you know,” Louis says to Harry as they reach the door leading into the kitchen.

 

Before walking in the kitchen, Harry turns to look Louis in the eyes, entwining their fingers he saids, “I will talk for as long as you want, about whatever you want. As long as I still have you when the conversation is over.” 

 

“You have me, I am not going anywhere.” 

 

When they walk into the kitchen the rest of the boys are there. They are gathered around the counter, picking at an array of food that is spread out around them. Liam looks at them with concern in his eyes.

 

“Everything alright boys?” Louis realises that they probably both look in pretty bad shape. They have both been crying, and Louis has bits of tree stuck in his clothes. 

 

“It’s going to be,” Louis tries to assure Liam “Harry and I have some things that we need to talk about. We are going to go upstairs for a while.” Harry doesn’t say anything, so Louis grabs his hand,and walks through the kitchen. “No eavesdropping yea?” He looks pointedly at Niall. Niall just puts his hands up and shrugs. Not making any promises.

 

They just make it out of the kitchen when Louis feels a hand on his arm. He turns to find Liam standing there. The look of concern and worry has not left. “I promised Harry I wouldn’t say anything, but please Lou…”

 

“It’s ok Liam. We’re ok. We will be ok. Thank you though. For being there for him.” At that Liam takes his hand off Louis’ arm and hugs him close. 

 

“Love you Louis, and Harry too. I know what we did here wasn’t right, but we kind of run out of options, you know?” 

 

“Well, it’s been an interesting week if nothing else,” Louis chuckles. “I have to go talk to Harry though. I will see you all in the morning ok?” Louis gives Liam one last reassuring smile and rushes to catch up.

 

They find themselves back in Harry’s room. This time Louis doesn’t hesitate to close the space between them. He brings Harry in close and kisses him tenderly on the lips. Harry kisses him back chastly, and they move together to sit on the bed. 

 

“What happened to us Harry?” Louis started. He thought he had it figured out, but sitting here with Harry now, he really doesn’t know.

 

“I loved you. I knew you couldn’t come out, but I was so tired of hiding. I just wanted to be me. It seemed like the more I tried to be me, the less you wanted me. I am sorry that I forced all of that on you in the end. I was being selfish. Maybe if I could have waited, pretended for a little while longer, you still would have wanted me. I am sorry for dragging you down with me Louis.” Harry starts to cry again, and Louis can’t get to him fast enough. Louis wraps his arms around Harry and holds him as tight as he can. He shushes in Harry’s ear and tells him it’s ok. “I thought you were angry with me, I thought you hated me for a while. I thought you resented that you would be connected to me forever. Every time I did something that questioned my sexuality, you were pulled into it. I thought you wanted to get away from it, so I gave you your space.”

 

“Oh, God Harry.” Louis feels like he swallowed a rock. What had he done? He was such an idiot then. Still is from the looks of the boy sitting across from him. “Do you know what? There was probably a time when I was stupid enough to think I wanted that. I thought that you were going along with something we both understood. I was so wrong. I knew it then, and I know it now. But I never stopped wanting you. I really was stupid enough to think that you would be there when we were done... as a band. For some insane reason I thought you would wait for me. When you didn’t, I just assumed that you got sick of my bullshit. I didn’t blame you. Who would want such a coward for a boyfriend? I never stopped loving you Harry. Please know that.”

 

“I wanted you, I want you. Please, just give me a chance. Let me show you.” Harry is stroking Louis’ arm where his dagger tattoo sits. Under it is written the words that Harry just said. Given a chance. And that’s all that Louis wanted too wasn’t it? A chance to prove to the beautiful boy in front of him that he is worth it. A chance to make him happy every day of his life. A chance to make him smile. Louis looks into Harry’s sea green eye, and nods. Harry smiles brighter than Louis has seen in years and kisses him. “I promise that you will never regret this.”

 

“I would never regret being with you Harry. I want you, I love you. This is it for me. I am all in here. I realised a long time ago that I will never stop loving you. You are my forever. Please say you know that.” Harry is now hugging him, practically sitting in his lap. 

 

“I can’t tell you how happy this makes me Louis. I love you so much. Can we just stay like this forever now?”

 

“I am afraid that’s not possible.” Louis responds gravely. “We need food and water to live. Also, I will have to wee.”

 

“How about tonight then? Can we stay like this tonight?”

 

“Absolutely. Get comfy H. You will be cuddled tonight like no one’s business.” Harry giggles and strips down to his pants. They crawl under the covers and almost instantly fall into a deep sleep.

 

 

They next morning Louis wakes up to green eyes. Beautiful green eyes. He can get used to this. It takes him a moment later to notice that he has also woken to very grabby hands on his body. Harry is pulling him close and rutting his leg oh so gently. Louis smiles at him and starts exploring with his own hands.

 

“Please, I need you right now,” Harry whispers.

 

“Well, I do know how commitment talk turns you on,” Louis responds with a light smile. Harry swats at him, but he smiles back. “But we still have the same problem that we did last time. I didn’t pack for sexy time.” Harry lets out a quiet laugh at this, but looking a little bashful. 

 

“I might have gone and picked up some things. Just in case.”

 

“Harry, you tramp!" Louis sits up at this. “I am not a piece of meat you know. I cannot just be lured to bed by a pretty face with a pocket full of condoms.”

 

Harry takes a moment to contemplate. “How about a pretty face, a pocket full of condoms, a brand new bottle of lube, and a promise to love you even when you are being a cheeky bastard when I am trying to seduce you?”

 

“I think you have a deal!”

 

Harry practically attacks him after that. Louis finds himself flat on his back, Harry is kissing and biting his neck. Louis starts sliding his hands up Harry’s legs. He moves his whole body slowly so that he is laying on top of Harry, one leg tucked in between Harry’s thighs giving him the slightest bit of pressure on his growing erection. “Let me take care of you H, what do you want?” Louis doesn’t wait for an answer before he starts kissing Harry’s chest, sucking on his nipples. 

 

“I want you to fuck me,” Harry breathes, rutting up against the leg that’s still tucked between his. 

 

“Ok, I can do that. I’ve wanted this for so long. I love you so much Harry.”

 

“Love you too Lou, but I’m not going to last long if you don’t get a move on. Please.” Louis chuckles softly to that. 

 

“You can wait a few minutes. I am enjoying this.” He’s still lazily tracing lines around Harry’s nipples with his tongue. But he doesn’t actually want to make Harry suffer, so he gets off of him long enough to get the rest of his own clothes off and tell Harry to lie on his belly. Louis has lube and a condom in hand when he gets back on the bed, and starts kissing Harry’s back, and works his way down. 

 

“Please Louis,” Harry sounds like he’s barely holding it together already. Louis’ hardly touched him. 

 

“Ok, ok. I’ve got you.” He uncaps the lube and gives himself a generous amount. Then gives a kiss to Harry’s soft skin before he gently runs a finger down his crack. Louis only hesitates for a second before he pushes in slowly. A moan escapes Harry’s mouth as he starts to move his finger in and out. 

 

“More, more, more” Harry is chanting, so Louis adds another finger and starts pumping into Harry in a more determined manner. “I’m ready Louis, please.” Harry begs. 

 

“Not yet love, I don’t want to hurt you,” Louis says as he adds a third finger. He moves to find Harry’s prostate, as Harry’s groans out. He’s trying so hard to ignore the ache in his own groin. Just long enough to make this good for Harry. It’s not easy, for either of them apparently.

 

“You are killing me!” Harry saids breathlessly. 

 

“Ok.” Louis pulls out his fingers, and Harry moans again in frustration. Louis quickly puts on a condom and lubes himself up. He lines himself up with Harry’s hole and slowly slides in. “Fuck Harry, so good. You feel so good babe.” It’s almost as though the memory of every time he has done this comes flooding back into his mind and body. It’s amazing and emotional. He forces himself back in the present though, and hears Harry moan his name.

 

“Make me feel good Louis, please. Love you so much, please fuck me.” Harry pleas. Louis is more than happy to comply. He starts pumping in and out of him. He knows he has hit Harry’s prostate when Harry lets out a cry of pure pleasure. Louis positions himself so that he can continue. 

 

“I want to touch you Harry,” Louis reaches around and grabs Harry’s swollen dick. He pumps it smoothly with the remnants of the lube on his fingers and can tell that Harry is really close to coming. Louis starts pumping his hand and his body in unison, and Harry cries out while he comes all over Louis’ hand and his own chest. Louis fucks him through it, and it only takes a few more strokes before Louis is chasing his own orgasm. 

 

“Fuck Harry, was it that good before?” Louis is still panting, and half lying on top of Harry.

 

“Yes, of course it was,” Harry chuckles. “Every time with you has been the best sex of my life.” 

 

“Don’t talk shit Harry, I am trying to have a moment here.” Louis bites Harry’s back, and Harry untangles himself so that he’s facing Louis on the bed.

 

“I’m not talking shit Louis. You are the one, the only one who can make me feel like this. I didn’t, like, go looking for others, but I haven’t been a monk either. It’s always came back to you. No one else compared.”

 

Louis is nervous, because he has questions, and he doesn’t want to ask them. “I heard you talking to Liam when we first got here. And I heard the words to that song we were writing. I… I thought someone broke your heart. I thought you were keeping secrets from me because you were having relationship problems.”

 

“I was having relationship problems. The same problems I have had for the last two years, four years, eight years. I am hopelessly in love with Louis Tomlinson, and I can’t seem to be able to do anything about it.”

 

“Doesn’t seem like much of a problem to me,” Louis doesn’t see what the issue is really. 

 

“Have you ever been hopelessly in love with a person who you think wants nothing to do with you?” Louis nods “Have you ever had to spend two weeks with this person, claiming to be friends?” Louis nods again, a little guilty this time. “Do you see why I may have been having issues then?”

 

“We’re idiots,” Louis concedes. 

 

“What about you? Any love lost?” Louis can tell that Harry’s trying to be casual, but his voice is giving him away.

 

“Only you Harry. It’s always been only you” At that Harry kisses him deeply and passionately. “Let’s go take a shower, get cleaned up. I’m starving.”

 

 

They didn’t make it downstairs very quickly. They had a lot of sex and cuddling and talking to catch up on, but when they do finally make their way into the kitchen, the boys are waiting for them. 

 

Liam looks apprehensive, Zayn looks smug, and Niall looks like his face is going to break he is smiling so hard. 

 

“Just as loud as ever boys,” Niall supplies as a greeting. 

 

“What was that about not getting back together Tommo?” is Zayn’s version of good morning.

 

“Piss off Zayn,” Louis warns, although not being able to take the smile off his face takes away from it somewhat. But when he looks over to Harry to share in the joke, he sees Liam with his arm around him, still not smiling. Louis walks over to the pair, clearly not knowing what is still bothering Liam.

 

“I’m just worried about you.” is what Liam is saying to Harry.

 

“What’s the matter?” Louis pipes in. Keeping his voice light.

 

“Daddy here thinks we are jumping into things too soon,” Harry responds. He is still smiling, but there is a small look of uncertainty in his eyes.

 

“No,” Louis says sternly. “No, do not do this." He is looking at both of them. “I am never going to love anyone like I love you Harry. Never. If this is too fast for you, of course I will wait. Of course I will take it slow, but I will never ever doubt my love for you. We are forever Harry. Do I need to get on one knee right now? Because I will do it.” Louis looks at Harry challengingly. 

 

“If you propose to me in a random rental house, without a plan or a ring, I guarantee I will not marry you. So I would think before you start bending knees Louis Tomlinson.” Louis smirks at that, knowing he's got Harry’s attention. “But I agree, this is it for me.” Harry is looking at Liam now. “We are ok, and we will always be together. I have no doubts, and you shouldn’t either Liam.”

 

“I am sorry guys. I just love you both, and I know how much you both hurt for a long time. I want you to be happy.” Liam looks apologetic, so Louis brings him in for a hug.

 

“Don’t worry about us babe. Thank you though. You will get sick of how happy we will be from now on.” 

 

“I can’t wait,” Liam responds and gives Louis one last pat on the back before pulling away. 

 

“Ok boys, I don’t know if you realise, but this is our last day together,” Niall pipes up. Everyone pauses a little taken back. Of course they had to part ways, and of course Louis knows today is that day, but what now? He really didn’t expect to feel so upset about these two weeks being up. 

 

“We have to finish that song for the baby,” Louis says decisively. “Plus, it’s something to remember these past couple of weeks.”

 

“Sounds good God Father,” Zayn responds, putting an arm around Louis. A grin breaking out on his face.

 

“Really?” 

 

“Of course you twat. I just wanted to wait until you and Harry got your shit together before I told you. Took a little longer than I thought.” Louis punches Zayn at that, and they head back into the basement to finish his God Daughter’s song.

 

The song gets finished and is beautiful. He can’t wait until Perrie hears it. He can’t believe how much his life has changed in the last few days. He looks around at his boys. They are slowly pulling their luggage out of the house, packing their respective cars. Harry wanders over to Louis and pulls him into the hundredth hug that day. “So, what now?” Louis asks. They talk about forever, but not so much about the next few days or weeks. Harry has homes, as far as Louis knows, but none of them are near Louis. Is it too soon for them to just move in together? Probably, not that Louis would mind.

 

“I’m going to see Mom from here. I need a place to crash for a few days, and you need to wine me and dine me for a little while at least.” Louis arches an eyebrow at him, and Harry caves pretty quickly. “Ok fine. I just want time to convince you to buy a new place that’s just for the two of us."

 

“There’s the Harry I know and love.” Harry swats him, but not hard enough to take the smile off Louis’ face. 

 

By the time they have come out of their little bubble the other three boys gathered around them.

 

“I guess this is it,” Liam saids breaking the silence first. 

 

“No, this isn’t it. We are brothers, and I can’t be away from my family this long again,” Louis responds. He pulls Niall and Harry in, as they are the closest. Zayn and Liam join them. They stand that way for a few minutes, making promises to call and text. Louis knows this time it’s genuine. 

 

Everyone slowly gets in their cars and drive away. Louis and Harry are the last in the drive just staring at one another. Neither wanting to be the first to leave. “This is stupid. We aren’t saying good bye here.” Louis tries to joke.

 

“I’ve been away from you for too long.” Harry looks like he’s trying not to cry. Louis is so done with seeing his boy sad. This time though, he knows exactly what to do about it.

 

“Well, it just so happens that there is one person in this world who I would love to spend time with more than anything… I haven’t seen Anne in ages.” Harry rolls his eyes at that, but his smile is bright. 

 

“Really?” He asks.

 

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” Louis responds decisively.

 

“I love you Louis. I guess I will see you in a couple hours then?”

 

“I will be right behind you,” Louis blows a kiss to Harry as they both get in their cars. He pulls out of the driveway and into the sunset. Louis thinks it’s appropriate.


	8. epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, thanks so much for reading!

“LOUIS!!!”

“I’M COMING, I’M COMING”

"IF YOU AREN’T IN THE CAR IN 3 MINUTES I AM LEAVING WITHOUT YOU!” 

Louis slides into the passenger seat five minutes later. “Where’s the love Harry? This is supposed to be a day full of love.”

“There is a baby that I get to hold, and I want to do just that. Why are you keeping me from her?” Harry says with forehead wrinkled in frustration. Louis knows that Harry isn’t actually mad at him, but it’s cute getting him riled up anyway.

“Well, I am sorry. I didn’t realise that you were so excited to watch me hold Annaleise all day.” Louis knows he did it there. Harry is just making huffing noises and gaping his mouth opened and closed. “Ok, ok. I am sorry. I will only admire her from afar. We are going so you can get your baby fix.”

“And don’t you forget it,” Harry says indignantly. 

Harry punches in the code for Zayn’s gate. They are together so much lately that they got tired of buzzing one another in. Harry starts carrying in all of the items that he has accumulated over the last few months waiting for Annaleise Malik to arrive. Louis isn’t sure what Zayn and Perrie are going to do with it all, but he doesn’t say as much to Harry. Just excited to see Harry excited. 

This isn’t the first time the boys have seen the little girl. She was born a few weeks before, but they are having a little get together today to celebrate with the entire “family” as they call themselves. Zayn, Perrie, Annaleise, Liam, Sophia and the twins, Niall, Louis, and Harry. Louis remembered to pack a few little items in Harry’s gift bags for the twins as well. Paint and paper probably wasn’t the most productive gift, but what are uncles for right?

He makes his rounds to everyone. Sees Harry gives him a “see, we are the last ones here” look, and goes to settle himself on the couch with his favourite people. Harry is almost dancing while Perrie lifts Annaleise into his arms, and he immediately relaxes. 

“So, how is moving going?” Sophia asks Harry.

“Fine for me. I don’t have a lot to move. So, mostly shopping for furniture and kitchen appliances. Louis on the other hand has kept everything he has ever owned in his life.” Louis snorts and looks fondly at Harry.

“It’s called being sentimental. And actually living in the same house for more than a year at a time.” Harry looks wistful at that. He has been telling Louis how happy he is that he will be closer to his family and a lot of his friends, but even more so, he is excited to have a real home. Louis had to get back to work pretty quickly after his visit with Anne and has left most of the decisions with Harry. Honestly Louis didn’t care where they lived, as long as they were together. They settled for a beautiful home in Cheshire that is fairly close to his mom and Harry’s mom. He’s also pretty close to work, the little bit of travel, a small sacrifice.

“Well, I guess I can appreciate it somewhat. He still has all his braces you know,” he whispers loudly to Sophia, who giggles, and blushes slightly.

“Harry!” Louis scolds him. But he knows it’s payback for making him late to the party, so let’s it slide for now.

There is another reason for everyone to get together today. Perrie and more importantly, Annaleise have not heard the song they wrote for her. The boys are going to perform it and give Perrie the song that they recorded a couple weeks before.

“Are you ready boys?” Niall asks as he’s bring his guitar from the next room.

“What are you all up to?” Perrie asks suspiciously.

“It was Liam’s idea,” Zayn says as he kisses Perrie on the forehead. Harry passes the baby back to Perrie as they gather around. Niall gives a few strums to see how her little ears would handle the sound. She didn’t even flinch.

“Born for it, she was,” Niall says proudly. The five boys gather around Perrie and the baby and start to sing.

 

"I’ve been looking for you for a long time now  
through cities and towns, but I don’t know how  
I expected to find you with my sad eyes closed  
you were always right there, whatever path I chose"

"Run, and I will follow  
Lead me, I will chase  
although my heart is hollow  
your love is saving grace"

"I am the earth  
you are the sun  
I might not see you  
but you never leave me  
just open your eyes  
and reach out your hand  
I will be here for you  
I’ll always love you"

"Nothing can stop love  
it’s stronger than stone, and diamonds, and time  
spread your wings and roam  
our love is your compass home."

 

It just felt right. All of them being together, singing together. Louis can’t believe that he spent two years of his life without this. He spent the first few weeks mourning those years. But Harry reminded him that it didn’t matter, because they had the rest of their lives to make up for it. 

He leans into Harry and whispers into his ear, “It’s just the beginning isn’t it?”

“Beginning of what?” Harry questions, tucking Louis’ hand into his arm.

“Happily ever after,” Louis responds with a twinkle in his eye.

“That is the cheesiest thing you have ever said, I’m pretty sure Lou.” 

“Maybe, I don’t care. I love you. I am so happy. You have made me this happy,” Harry leans in and kisses Louis softly.

“I didn’t do anything, but I am glad to be here to see you happy.”

“Can we go to the house tonight?” Louis tries to not sound suspicious.

“There’s no power right now, you know that right?” Of course Louis does. Louis is the one who told them to cut it off in order to do some wiring upgrades. He just nods in accent and Harry agrees. Knowing though that Louis is up to something. As Louis is always up to something.

 

They spend a few more hours at the party before the baby and Perrie started to get tired. After the say their goodbyes, Harry heads straight for their new house. It will take a couple hours to get there, but they drive in relative silence. Louis terrified to open his mouth lest he start nervous talking and give something away. It was dark when they arrived, and Louis knew he had to think fast.

“Louis, why are we here? We can’t see anything.”

“I don’t know. I was being sentimental. Maybe we should just go to your Mom’s or mine for the night,” Louis still gets out of the car though, just in case Harry agreed and wanted to leave.

“What do you want to do here? There isn’t even a place to sit down. Want to take a walk around the property?” It was quite cold being nearly December, so Louis thinks no.

“Lets just go in and pretend we live here for a minute,” Louis grabs Harry’s hand and drags him to the front door.

“You are the strangest human being I have ever---” Harry stops talking when the door opens because all he can see are candles and rose petals. “What is going on? Louis?” Louis ducks into the house ahead of Harry and calls out for him.

“In here Hazza,” Louis stands in the middle of what will be their living room. The fireplace is lit and there is a beautiful, hot dinner awaiting them on a blanket on the floor. When Harry comes into view, he kneels.

“I love you so much. I have loved you every day of my life for years and years. Being apart did not change that. Fear did not change that. Fame did not change that. I know that we said that we would be together forever. And I am happy about that because I want to talk to you about everything for the rest of my life, but tonight I just want to ask. Harry Edward Styles, will you marry me?”

Louis knew that Harry would say yes, but knowing didn’t take the butterflies from his stomach. It didn’t take the nerves, and it didn’t make the silence any less painful. He didn’t realise that he closed his eyes until Harry was kneeling in front of him, touching his face.

“Please look at me Louis,” Harry’s voice is gentle. “There will never be a day that I will not want to be with you. I never ever want you to wonder that again. I love you so much, and of course I will marry you. You are my everything.” 

Louis breaths out a sigh of relief and smiles for the first time since stepping foot in the house. He pulls out the box from his pocket. “I was supposed to have this out… I’m sorry.” 

“Louis! This is me, please don’t be nervous. You have me. I’m right here.” Harry gives him a hug and kisses his neck and shoulder. “You didn’t need to do this you know.”

“You deserve the best Harry. This is my best.”

“It’s perfect.” 

“Happily ever after.”

“Absolutely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank my girls for giving me advice, and most of all Brinner for making me look good, and stroking my ego! This is my first fan fic. I hope to write many more!
> 
> I'm also on tumblr, but mostly just repost pics of the boys being beautiful
> 
> taggiecb.tumblr.com


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